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Open Poetry #18
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-01-10 10:42 AM


And we rested under the tree
The smell of lavender, interrupted the sky
You taught me to love nature
To feel the gentle breeze,
Watch the rain stain the ground
In tiny droplets as the
Sand gains pattern

Surrounded in touch,
We lay naked on long
Mornings in passionate
Dreams of one whom
Slept beyond the dawn

November sunsets can strike the
Soul and leave the smallest joy
Do I dare speak of such
Things, Now? Here?
Once, only once
In a life time you feel
This way, did any one
Remind you, what you
Love, is beautiful?


I'd sigh if you would
Notice, but I fall silent
To the kiss


The canvas still hangs
When the tower is empty


Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain


[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-10-2002 11:13 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2002-01-10 11:16 AM


Do I dare speak of such
Things, Now? Here?
Once, only once
In a life time you feel
This way, did any one
Remind you what you
Love is beautiful?

Powerful emotions, Lauren.  We could all use reminding.  

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-01-10 11:23 AM




(sigh) So beautifully bittersweet, sweet Lauren, you always paint such beautiful visions of love! (sigh) May the canvas of your heart be painted with true love and joy to last a lifetime! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is fabulous! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2002-01-10 12:25 PM


Greeneyes - the more I read this, the more touching it becomes. I have no other words except the beauty of this write...

BC

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
4 posted 2002-01-10 12:28 PM


*sigh* such love as this...rare and perfect in its design...wonderful in the feelings shared...and much more left yet unsaid in the silent fall. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
5 posted 2002-01-10 12:33 PM


Very sweetly written.
rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
6 posted 2002-01-10 12:51 PM


Greeneyes,

    This is just georgus! I love this.

Hugs,
Tara

"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
     - Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-01-10 01:21 PM


To feel the gentle breeze,
Watch the rain stain the ground
In tiny droplets as the
Sand gains pattern

Surrounded in touch,
We lay naked on long
Mornings in passionate
Dreams of one whom
Slept beyond the dawn
==================================
"November sunsets can strike the
Soul and leave the smallest joy
Do I dare speak of such
Things, Now? Here?

Once, only once
In a life time you feel
This way,"



While writing your heart you also wrote a moment in time engraved across mine ....
and yes..only once will it feel "this way" but the gift of touching that "once", the traces left behind in that November sunset, makes the knowing it wont come again acceptable...makes all the tears worthwhile.
Once again you take me there...thank you for that dear Lauren.
jm


I ask why you come here, you say just because
Could I live without it if I knew what it was
But it really dont matter when you look at me that way.

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (01-10-2002 01:21 PM).]

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
8 posted 2002-01-10 01:46 PM


"You taught me to love nature
To feel the gentle breeze,
Watch the rain stain the ground
In tiny droplets"

Just lovely, Lauren.   *hugs*

me

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

Canuckster
Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285
New Mexico, USA
9 posted 2002-01-10 01:51 PM


This does what I always find hard to do in poetic expressions of love.  It accomplishes your goal without sounding, trite, cliche or overly syruppy.  You've done this by using word pictures to paint what you're saying rather than tryng to abstractly describe your feelings which inevitably leads to using words that have traditionally been overworked.

Bravo!  Well done!

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

10 posted 2002-01-10 02:03 PM


Sometimes the smallest joys are the best ones ..beautifully written as always Lauren..
enjoyed very much..

                    ~Vic

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
~ David Viscott


                                            


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2002-01-10 02:21 PM


Lauren...this is EXQUISITE!...love it!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~

JAR
Junior Member
since 2001-11-06
Posts 34

12 posted 2002-01-10 10:15 PM


'and we rested under the tree'
in gentle breeze'
and i learned to love nature'

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
13 posted 2002-01-10 10:24 PM


Fear not dear fair maid
though not in tower dwell.
For your bed has been made
for the knight you know well.

I love towers...  enjoyed the poem...


Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2002-01-10 11:31 PM


now, this speaks with the power of love known. . . and love dreamt of. . .

only you know this voice my friend. . . soft and lovely in the night. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
15 posted 2002-01-10 11:42 PM


Lauren,
You left me wanting...was that on purpose?

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
16 posted 2002-01-11 09:43 AM


Duncan~

thanks for stopping by, I enjoyed your thoughts....

~~

Noah~


I wish to find that love again...its out there somewhere...thanks my friend, you boost my spirits...

~~

Bill~

I appreciate you, and your kind replies always...

~~

Startime~

alot left unsaid in the silent fall...thank you for your hugs....I appreciate the thoughts...

~~

LngJhnAg~

thanks for stopping in...good to see ya...

~~

Tara~

thank you...and for the hugs....hugs back to ya...

~~

Janet Marie~

so many traces yet to find....I am getting there.... hugs

~~

Michael~

missed you being around...thank you for your friendship, and for stopping by...

~~

Canuckster~

your reply touched me, thank you...welcome

~~

~V~

it is the smallest joys sometimes isnt it...thank my friend~...hugs


~~

Nancy~

your replies are always Exquisite, thank you...hugssss

~~

JAR~

thank you...

~~

Magnus~

thank you for the poetic reply...I appreciate the thoughts..

~~

Sven~

I keep dreaming...maybe one day it will come true...thanks my friend...hugssss

~~

Larry~

yes...   thank you for stopping in....actually I like to write and try to leave the reader wanting more....good to see ya...

~~

Be well Be safe...Peace... all

Greeneyes~


Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain


[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-11-2002 09:44 AM).]

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
17 posted 2002-01-11 12:05 PM


Natures canvas is vast of contrast
designed to hold those patterns of time.
November sunsets reflect the past,
Echoes of love and beauty in rhyme.

Each step forward is a season kept,
Falling so silent as towers wept.

What I see through your eyes ...
magnificent!!!!    

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

18 posted 2002-01-11 12:16 PM


Lauren, this is very filled with tenderness..an absolute treasure of words.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
19 posted 2002-01-12 11:29 AM


Ctowen~

Patterns of time....I love that...I appreciate you...much...Hugs~

~~


Irish Rose~

thank you for your treasured reply...





Lauren~


Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-12-2002 11:30 AM).]

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