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Marsha
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0 posted 2002-01-09 07:23 PM


The Sleepless Ones Lullaby
dedicated to Bill, Keth and Jack
who are all not sleeping


Go to sleep my poet friend rest your weary eyes
While you sit tiredly you’re missing sleeps surprise
Your bed calls out to you come lay down in me
And I’ll waft you to slumber to wander dreamily
Come walk in vales of dreams witness marvels sight
Submit to sleeps invitation to drift in dreamers night
Don’t shun sleep’s delight or stay away too long
Give into dream’s desire and succumb to lullaby's song

Go to sleep my poet friend lie down on your bed
Lay down under your covers rest your weary head
Your eyes are feeling droopy you want to go to sleep
Dreamland is calling, offering promises you can keep
Wander in the twilight speak with your spirit guide
Take yourself to somewhere where no secrets hide
Slip into sleep let it cradle you in all night long
Yield to the dark there inside the lullaby’s song

Go to sleep my poet friend lie down and dream on
Come and wander in mist where dreams aren’t gone
Sleep bids you welcome its calling you by name
Come and rest in sleeper’s paradise once again
Feel the pull of dreams take the road into night
Roam along the byways of dreamer’s soft delight
Slide into sleep let the ship of dreams move on
Submit to the music of the soft lullaby’s song

Marsha



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


© Copyright 2002 Marsha Grace Melody Todd - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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1 posted 2002-01-09 07:31 PM




(giggles) Soooooooo cute, sweet friend, I love it!!! (smiles) May our all-nighters have the sweetest dreams and get plenty of sleep and dream away into Dreamland happily! (kiss on cheek) Sooooooo cute, sweet friend, you are such a delight to us all, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Marsha, thank you for sharing!



May love and light alway shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
2 posted 2002-01-09 07:32 PM


Beautiful Marsha and read just like a lullaby!
Perhaps if the insomniacs in here
read this over a few times before bed,
it would help
I love this!!  Yes, I really love this!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~

Startime
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since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
3 posted 2002-01-09 07:32 PM


Absolutely beautiful and sung so sweetly. A lullaby that will sooth any tired heart. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Kit McCallum
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4 posted 2002-01-09 07:51 PM


What an absolutely wonderful lullibye Marsha!  Your soothing words are tempting "me" with this piece, and I vowed to do some long required reading tonight! Very much enjoyed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Madame Chipmunk
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5 posted 2002-01-09 09:14 PM


This is definitely a lullaby, Marsha.  All you need is someone to write the music for it.
I appreciate it because I am another sleepless one.  I usually fall asleep okay, only to awaken at about 5 A.M. and not be able to fall back to sleep again.
Maybe I will keep your lullaby by my bed.
Thanks for sharing it.

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

GenXer
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since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA
6 posted 2002-01-09 11:35 PM


Marsha - This was a perfect read for this time of night, for I will be going to bed very soon.  This was such a smooth and well written poem.  It almost put me to sleep, like most of your writes do.lol (totally kidding)

Dave

Larry C
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7 posted 2002-01-10 12:15 PM


Mushy,
I saw the title and knew you wrote this just for me! Sleep has a much fainter call for me...so here I am enjoying you. LOL Great lullaby and I agree with Lyra on needing a tune. By the way, how does Lyra do that?

Kethry
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Victoria Australia
8 posted 2002-01-10 07:34 AM


Yawn...Stretch...Marsha ...this...is .soooo...soft ...and ...zzzzzzz

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Marsha
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9 posted 2002-01-10 10:23 AM


Noah darling boy this actually started out as a verse on Bills 3am write, and sort of grew.

I do know that Keth hasn't been sleeping well, Bill obviously isn't since he's still awake at 3am, and Jack?..... Jack hardly sleeps at all

So to all those Sleepless ones I give you the lullaby.

Thank you darling boy


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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10 posted 2002-01-10 10:30 AM


Nancy darling girl thank you as always YOU are too kind to me


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy


To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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11 posted 2002-01-10 10:33 AM


Karen darling girl YOU are always sweet to me. Thank you muchly

This as I've said was written because I know Bill isn't sleeping and although his 3am writes are wonderful, we all need our sleep.

Take care of you and sleep well and dream sweetly


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy




To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1

[This message has been edited by Marsha (01-10-2002 12:17 PM).]

Moonlight Romeo
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12 posted 2002-01-10 10:49 AM


This is very good, reminds me of the one that my Mom used to sing to me.

A lullabye for grown-ups.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Pilgrimage
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since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
13 posted 2002-01-10 11:52 AM


Dear Marsha,
Round about half-way through my eyes started to close. Not a good thing, since I'm at work, but I didn't sleep well last night. So I have an excuse. Very smooth, and nice. Good one.

Nan

Bill Charles
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since 2000-07-11
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highways, & byways, for now
14 posted 2002-01-10 11:53 AM


Marsha - a lovely lullaby for us three in the morning people....

BC

LngJhnAg
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15 posted 2002-01-10 12:04 PM


Marsha - Another night owl - Hve you met Lorelei?
CocoBaci
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Posts 3043

16 posted 2002-01-10 12:15 PM


SweetMarsha, you're precious2all of us here...
Such a lovely verse you pen4those PoetFriends who keep the stars at nite company and brighten these pages with many poems that bring us all delight...

Hugs2uMyDearOne
*~coco~*

Mon Cherie
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17 posted 2002-01-10 12:40 PM


Marsha, nice write!!! I'll turn in soon... You should too...

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Canuckster
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since 2002-01-09
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18 posted 2002-01-10 01:08 PM


I echo the other comments as to the premise.

Rhyme generally requires some kind of consistency to the meter.  That would be my constructive suggestion would be to spend some time looking at this poem.  You vary generally between 11, 12 or 13 beats to a line.  So you've got a general idea of the cadence and flow.  The meter doesn't necessarily need to be iambic (meaning alternating stressed and unstressed syllables) but it helps if there is a pattern more or less present so that when speaking the poem outloud there is a discernible pattern to how the stressed syllables are falling.

I bet you could go through this poem, count out the beats on each ine and note how the syllables are naturally falling and do a little work that would make this good poem into an excellent poem with just a little more effort.

Hope this is in keeping with the critique you've invited and keep writing.  You're really quite gifted just from what I've seen here.

never try to teach a pig to sing
it wastes your time AND annoys the pig

Marsha
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19 posted 2002-01-10 10:48 PM


Kit darling girl I hope it made you close your sleepy eyes. (Wicked grin)

Thank you I'm glad you like it, I was aiming for gentle


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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20 posted 2002-01-10 10:53 PM


Lyra darling girl are you not sleeping either? Try to get some decent rest YOU need it

Glad you liked it did it make you feel sleepy? A nice gentle hum I think is what we're after. How about that sone they sing in Three Men And A Baby Smile


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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21 posted 2002-01-10 10:58 PM


Dave darling boy am I puting you to sleep? I'm not then I'l just have to try harder dear heart won't I.

Mmmmmmm Now which lullyaby do you prefer darling boy, lets try one without any tears shall we. Hush a bye mountain I think would be suitable. wicked grin


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Larry C
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22 posted 2002-01-11 12:28 PM


Mushy Darling,
You are the sleepy one...let's see if my second post earns a reply. "bump"

Don't let the bed bugs bight!

Marsha
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23 posted 2002-01-11 01:04 PM


Larry darling boy thank you, of course it was written specially for you. Keth, Bill and Jack are all red herrings. Keth and Bill will of course understand, now Jack might just complain but I'm sure I can convince him that you need this more than he does.

Sleepy yet darling boy? Hmmmmm then I'll have to think of something that will send you straight to sleep.


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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24 posted 2002-01-11 01:08 PM


keth darling sister of my heart, Now go to sleep or I'll phone you up again and talk to you.

I could read you a list of boring things darling girl........ or even worse read you some of my other poetry the stuff I'm not allowed to post. That'll send you straight to sleep.

Good night dear heart I'll speak to you tomorrow ...........


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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25 posted 2002-01-11 01:09 PM


MR I'm glad you liked it darling boy it was just a little play thing really

Thank you muchly


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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26 posted 2002-01-11 04:58 PM


Nan darling girl well I'm sorry about that, but at least the hypnotism is working. Now just go and get your boss and speak the lullyaby and send him / her too sleep.

Thank you muchly darling girl glad you came to see me. Now post a poem quick before I get Nan withdrawal smile

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

     
  

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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27 posted 2002-01-11 05:01 PM


Bill darling boy well, if it doesn't work it's back to the honey and milk. Look into my eyes YOU are getting sleepy darling boy very very sleepy.

Thank you muchly darling boy and it had better work or I'll try something else.

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

     
  



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1

[This message has been edited by Marsha (01-11-2002 05:18 PM).]

Marsha
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28 posted 2002-01-11 05:05 PM


Long John the trouble is I swear I work on a ifferent time than everyone else. I simply don't feel sleepy now when everyone else is asleep. or you could blame Keth, I often do, I know, why not she carries the blame for everything

Anyway I'm glad you liked it. Hi Lorilie

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

     
  

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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29 posted 2002-01-11 05:07 PM


Coco thank you darling girl YOU are always a pleasure to see whatever the time.

Hugs to you my sweet friend


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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30 posted 2002-01-11 05:08 PM


Florence thank you so very very much
I'm pleased you liked it


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Marsha
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31 posted 2002-01-11 05:17 PM


canuckster thank you very much for the effort you've put into critique of this, I appreciate it. This is however just a little fun thing so I won't change it about too much. I will say that different poets operate on different beats and rhythms here is a little example of a different beat

The Difference In Angels


Have you ever-noticed just how different some people are
Not a difference of location not whether they’re near or far
Some people are so pompous they live far too seriously
It’s as if they have forgotten how to live quiet simply
They tie themselves in knots getting the latest this or that
Spending oodles of money for some stupid bit of tat
While others mouths are hungry they haven’t got much
But I’ll tell you this my friend they have the human touch

Then there are the people who act like the only ones in pain
They say they are unfortunate that all it does is rain
They’ll tell you they have bad luck and life is always so sad
Then go on to tell you why every little thing goes bad
They’ll beg for your compassion and ask you to assist
But rarely will they give a thought to those tragedy has kissed
They don’t look at what they have but others can and do
But I’ll tell you this my friend I wouldn’t be them would you?

Occasionally you’ll meet the real angels who in this place abide
But you have to look closely because their miracles they hide
They don’t expect trumpets or bells saying hey look at me
In fact their daily miracles are performed almost surreptitiously
They keep quiet about the things they do, they never say a word
But listen very carefully and you’ll see that HE has heard
It is these people who fill our lives with such joyous delight
But I’ll tell you this my friend I want to always see their light

Marsha





Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Pilgrimage
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since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
32 posted 2002-01-11 05:43 PM


Dear Marsha,
That one's great. I love it. You do know people, don't you?

Nan

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
33 posted 2002-01-11 05:59 PM



To borrow from you...utterly beautiful...

strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

34 posted 2002-01-11 06:32 PM


Marsha, my eyelids were getting heavy, I was getting sleepy. This was soooooooo relaxing. lovely. floria
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