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Open Poetry #18
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-01-09 08:44 AM


She’s waiting for the tapping at her door
Unsure if she wants to hear it once more,
But she’ll answer just because he comes back
Filling voids if not emotional lack.

Come in, sit down, and how are you doing?

Now she’s talking just to hear a voice sound,
He’ll not answer since he is not around,
Not that they have any conversations,
Only the temporary sensations.

Come in, lay down, and what are we doing?

They’ll come the rough rapping and he’ll be there,
A burning desire without a care,
Someone to touch her to not be alone
Actions to fill her solitary home

Gloom



© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-01-09 08:46 AM


Prof,
A wonderful read, enjoyed.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-01-09 09:07 AM



Professor, you've done it again. I had but one question, thinking that "they'll" should perhaps read "then" but I could be wrong...

Excellent imagery....

angelbear
Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 139
North East, USA
3 posted 2002-01-09 09:24 AM


Wonderful images and emotion. I will look forward to reading more of your work!

I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul,
my only goal
is just to "be"
-Lyrics from RENT

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
4 posted 2002-01-09 10:27 AM


Thank you, Seymour,
Glad you enjoyed.

Thank you, Sunshine,
I actually had it originally “then comes the rough rapping and he’ll be there,”
But on saying it out loud, didn’t care for it,
And changed it to this.
“There will come rough rapping and he’ll be there,”
might be another choice.

Thank you, angelbear,
Pleased you liked,

Gloom

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2002-01-10 10:53 AM


I know lonely all too well... and know good poetry when I read it. *S* This is great, Professor... I greatly enjoyed. *S*

[This message has been edited by suthern (01-10-2002 10:53 AM).]

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2002-01-10 10:56 AM


Aack..how did you see inside my head like that? VERY effective write, Prof.
Sandra

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
7 posted 2002-01-10 01:07 PM


Thank you, suthern,
I’m sorry you know loneliness as well as I do,
But I’m pleased by your comments on my words.

Thank you, Catalinamoon
Well, usually you see inside someone’s head by looking into their eyes,
But in this case, it’s just happenstance.

Gloom

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