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Open Poetry #18
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2002-01-09 08:10 AM


       Sand Castles

When I was young.
I played at the ocean's shore.
Built my castles, ebb tide.
When the sand was still wet.

When I was young
I expunged time,      
Into gleaming silver gold.
A pile of silicon.

When I was young.
Phantoms bide and trumpets blared.
I challenged the sea with pride.
No tide could fall these walls.

Now I am old
Waters splayed the shore.
And the castles are no more.
But the pail and shovel stayed.


© Copyright 2002 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA
1 posted 2002-01-09 08:25 AM



A good friend told
me that reading you
is like a daily shower,
you can't help but
feel refreshed afterwards.

She is right...

Thank you!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-01-09 08:34 AM


Soleil Noir,
A delightful comment, I thank you,

Hypnosis
Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325
CO
3 posted 2002-01-09 08:37 AM


Yes being young is a great time in our lives, where we can live care free, and take on the world.  However as we get older we have more responsibilities and such joyfullness is lost, something that I am moving through right now in my life.  I thought this was a great poem, good job!

    Randy Meador

a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2002-01-09 08:42 AM


So lets go diggin for clams baby ... LOL

Look at me Stinky  playing with poetry
free verse and sands of wisdom ...
any one ever tell ya that you are deep?  *L*
any one ever tell ya that you are cool?   *wink*

I gots a new sandbox...bring that shovel and pail  
we will bury Randy in the sand  LOL

me

I ask why you come here, you say just because
Could I live without it if I knew what it was
But it really dont matter when you look at me that way.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2002-01-09 08:46 AM




(smiles) Soooooo well said, sweet friend, we may be grown up now, but the spirit of innocence and the children of God we are will always shine deep in our hearts and we will always be building sand castles through the love we share! (big hugggssssss) I love it, sweet friend, your words are always so delightful and edifying to us all! We all love you so much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2002-01-09 08:52 AM



Ah Sy, your pail is always full, ready to make yet more sand castles.  If your shovel ever breaks, just give me a call, and I will bring a new one...promise!  The hope you leave is why sandcastles will be perpetual in time...no matter how many waves lap the shore...you will be our ever-more...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2002-01-09 08:54 AM


Randy,
True and a big thank you.

JM,
What a wonderful idea. I'll fly Randy to the beach and we'll bury him together. LOL

Noah,
All true and thank you.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-01-09 08:57 AM


Sunshine,
Who can resist your warm light.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
9 posted 2002-01-09 09:35 AM


Seymour - this is wonderful. You will understand why I keep my grandson's pail and shovel that I bought for him, in my garden instead of allowing him to take it home..lol. Bless You. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2002-01-09 10:52 AM


Nightshade,
What a wonderful idea. Thank you for the read and wonderful comment.

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

11 posted 2002-01-09 11:07 AM


Lovely Sy..when i was young i didnt write poetry..dont know about you..but i enjoy doing this more than anything else.

           ~Victoria~

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
~ David Viscott


                                            


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2002-01-09 11:11 AM


Victoria,
And you write well thank you *L*.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
13 posted 2002-01-09 11:15 AM


A very beautiful piece, Sy.  There truly is nothing that is more fun than building a sand castle, except writing poetry.
And here, you have done both and displayed them to us very beautifully.
I think we are all children at heart.
copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

[This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (01-09-2002 11:18 AM).]

wolf
Junior Member
since 2002-01-04
Posts 10
Hamilton (Steeltown)
14 posted 2002-01-09 11:47 AM


A very insightful reflection of life past and present.
Excellent.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

15 posted 2002-01-09 12:38 PM


I built my first sandcastle about 2 years ago, at least I made it
to the shore!

Kathleen--
Neither genius, fame, nor love show the greatness of the soul.
Only kindness can do that. ~Jean Baptiste Henri Lacordaire~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
16 posted 2002-01-09 04:47 PM


Wonderful Sy...makes me want to run for the nearest sand dune...sit up there and watch the children playing....or better yet, join them!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
17 posted 2002-01-09 04:50 PM


Ahh, and then I became old enough to rebuild the castles for my own enjoyment and dreams, knowing that nothing is of permanence except the waves of continuing time...very nice write, Sy, enjoyed it..gentle smile
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
18 posted 2002-01-09 05:04 PM


how beautiful penned, I like the depth within.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts.

Charisma

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
19 posted 2002-01-09 06:41 PM


Madame C,
A beautiful reply, thank you.

Wolf,
Thank you for the excellent.

Kathleen,
Good for you. *L*

Nancy,
Next time you are there do just that. *L*

Charisma,
It's a pleasure to share them with you. *L*

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

20 posted 2002-01-09 06:59 PM


Oh seymore, great memories here. loved this so much. floria
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
21 posted 2002-01-09 07:02 PM


Floria,
Thank you so much,

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
22 posted 2002-01-09 07:09 PM


*sigh* come sit with me upon the shore of our eternal youth and build sand castles that will never wash away....I love this. It brought back memories with deep yearning. *sigh* how I miss the beaches I used to walk. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Canuckster
Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285
New Mexico, USA
23 posted 2002-01-09 07:14 PM


I like this.  The formula of first lines sets up the last line very well.  The use of an image to convey the thought of playfullness and youthfulness is really and effective tool and you used it very well.  The simplicity of the picture just adds to its power.  Good job!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
24 posted 2002-01-09 09:07 PM


Startime,
Thank you,

Canuckster,
Wonderful critique, thank you.

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
25 posted 2002-01-09 09:07 PM


Sy, I say we keep building castles of dreams Maybe one of them will be permanent.
Very effective poem
Sandra

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
26 posted 2002-01-09 09:10 PM


Sandra,

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
27 posted 2002-01-09 09:33 PM



Sy, this is insightful and very well expressed...as always you make me think and your poetry moves me.
You are a great talent!

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
28 posted 2002-01-09 09:47 PM


My mind still builds those sandcastles, even though I am far away from sandy beaches. Thank you for transporting me to temporal playcastles for a few moments.
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
29 posted 2002-01-09 10:03 PM


Now I am old
Waters splayed the shore.
And the castles are no more.
But the pail and shovel stayed"""


OH what a wonderful Image to see....I can see the water, sand, and pale and shovel....this is wonderful...thank you for the vivid scene...


Lauren~

Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
30 posted 2002-01-10 07:54 AM


Melissa,
Thank you sweet.

Midnitesun,
Glad I could transport you for the moment. *L*

Greeneyes,
Thank you for the vivid answer.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
31 posted 2002-01-10 11:23 AM


Over the past several years, I've read so many wonderful words from your pen. I always expect excellence... sometimes, I find awe. *S* This is one of those times... I love this!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
32 posted 2002-01-10 12:11 PM


Suthern,

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
33 posted 2002-01-10 12:14 PM


Sy--A wonderful build up to those last lines..that hit the heart strings of "I know".  Much enjoyed!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
34 posted 2002-01-10 12:18 PM


Another very interesting read, Sy.  You have so many messages in your poetry.  Deep.
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