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strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859


0 posted 2002-01-06 11:34 AM



The Candle, My Soul


The flame now casting shadows on the wall
As it's sweet scent is wafting through the air
No longer can this loneliness forestall
And how much sorrow is a soul to bear

For as I watch the life of flame so dim
I do perceive a life that will expire
And as the blackened wick now looks so grim
In sorrow I await the end of fire

For as the life is spent in time of years
And every day that goes does not return
So too the candle melts to disappear
As flames devour the wick, I watch it burn.

And never more shall this one candle be
For life it had and only once it lives
The soul that God has given us so free
It flies on high to meet Him and relives.


Floria
© 2002



© Copyright 2002 Floria Kelderhouse - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-01-06 12:05 PM


Strbbux,
A lovely well written poem.

Marsha
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Maidstone Kent England
2 posted 2002-01-06 12:21 PM


Strbbux this is lovely and has much wisdom.

I love this, it's absolutely first class writing

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

     

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


GenXer
Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA
3 posted 2002-01-06 12:23 PM


Floria - Great idea.  Like the comparison you drew.  I do have a suggestion, and here it is:

The last stanza,

And never more shall this one candle be
For like life, it only has one chance to live
But similar to our soul, it will be set free,
and will fly on high to meet Him, and relive.

I did notice that your meter was 10 syllables, but I don't think going to 11 on the last 3 would hurt this poem.   

Either way, very good.

Dave

[This message has been edited by GenXer (01-06-2002 12:31 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel
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4 posted 2002-01-06 01:10 PM




YAY!!! Yes, He will always be here for us all, as the candle of our heart will always glow with embers of His love and light, and His love will always prevail. (kiss on cheek) Soooooooo beautiful, sweet Floria, we all love you so much! God Bless You! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Floria, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2002-01-06 01:55 PM


How can I tell you what this poem did for me?
Well, I will try.  It lifted me and made me feel a little ray of hope and light through all the dark, gloomy veils that have fallen in front of me during the past year.  Thank you for this.  Into the library with this one.  It's already in my heart.

Kathleen--
Neither genius, fame, nor love show the greatness of the soul.
Only kindness can do that. ~Jean Baptiste Henri Lacordaire~

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-01-06 02:27 PM


Beautiful. Be looking for something in the mail from me, k? I love the metaphor--(so much so I use it myself alot, grin..)
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-01-06 02:57 PM


Exquisite Floria....I love it!  ~Hugs, Nancy~

~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

8 posted 2002-01-06 04:17 PM


Seymour, thank you so much for reading and replying, It lifts me up and gives me more incentive. floria

Marsh, kind words from you. I so appreciate your continued support, floria

Dave, I never turn down critique, and although I thought this one done, I will look at it again with your suggestions. I thank you so much, Do not ever hesitate to critique my work as that is how I learn. floria

Mistletoe, what can I say to you. You are the cheering gallery for the entire site and I love hearing from you . thanks Noah, floria

Irish Rose, I also have had a bad year. And I have been held up by many friends including and especially on here, this site. If my poem helped you to feel good. I am so thrilled. That is what writing is about. Not pats on the back so much as making another feel good. thanks , floria

Serenity, yes I see your mail and will open it shortly and than you so very much. floria

Enchantress, (( hugs )) back at you. and I thank you so much. floria

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2002-01-06 05:34 PM


Enjoyed your thoughts...James
Startime
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since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
10 posted 2002-01-06 05:44 PM


*sigh* life is so very fleeting.....it burns so bright and hot only to fade and flicker all too soon. You have put it incredibly well in this poem. Thank you, so much, for sharing it with me. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
11 posted 2002-01-06 05:53 PM



Floria, this is good, and it likes me!  Thank you!

strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

12 posted 2002-01-06 06:01 PM


James, thank you so much, floria

Startime, your big hugs help me a lot. thanks, floria

Sunshine thanks so very much. floria

thanks all...(( hugs )) floria

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
13 posted 2002-01-06 06:33 PM


Floria I love the metaphor you presented in this beautifully written poem.
A beautiful comparison, but I hope that our lives don't burn out as fast as the candle's does.
Great work!

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

14 posted 2002-01-06 06:39 PM


I agree, Although they are now making candles that burn longer and longer, I actually found one that burned for 45 hours.
LOL  nope, really cannot compare it to a life, but ah well, just a poem. thanks madame your poems always bring a smile to my face. floria

Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
15 posted 2002-01-06 10:53 PM


yes. . . well done. . .

I love the words that candles can inspire. . . the things that we can see in the flame. . . life and all of its mysteries. . .

you've shown them well here. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Larry C
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16 posted 2002-01-07 12:10 PM


Floria,
This analogy is awesomely penned here. I love this. Thanks.

strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

17 posted 2002-01-07 09:08 AM


sven, I do appreciate your reply, so much, it helps me. floria
strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

18 posted 2002-01-07 09:09 AM


Larry, thank you so much. I appreciate your reply. floria
N orth Carolina Girl
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since 2001-12-04
Posts 962
NC,USA
19 posted 2002-01-07 02:40 PM


Floria,this was so warm feeling.BEAUTIFUL!


Juanita

"always have a smile on your face it makes people wonder what you`re up to:

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
20 posted 2002-01-07 02:41 PM



Amen!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

21 posted 2002-01-07 02:47 PM


N carolina girl thanks so much, floria
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

22 posted 2002-01-07 02:48 PM


Interloper, what a nice reply. floria
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
23 posted 2002-01-07 06:38 PM


Hello Floria
This was an absolutely stunning piece of writing and so much enjoyed by this reader.
Take care......Sue

Suetang

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

24 posted 2002-01-07 06:48 PM


Thank you sue, I am happy you read and reply to my work. floria
vandana
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USA
25 posted 2002-01-07 06:58 PM


enjoy
Victoria
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26 posted 2002-01-07 07:02 PM


lovely writing floria... enjoyed very much..looking forward to reading more from you..

              ~Victoria~

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
~ David Viscott


                                            


strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

27 posted 2002-01-07 07:21 PM


Vandana thank you so much for replying, floria
strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

28 posted 2002-01-07 07:21 PM


thank you Victoria. I appreciate your reply. floria

[This message has been edited by strbbux (01-07-2002 07:24 PM).]

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