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Open Poetry #18
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Mac Attack
Member
since 2001-12-12
Posts 100
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2002-01-06 11:19 AM



Death of a Work In Progress

Pen to paper
My story unfolds.
Among fluid words
The image takes hold.

Pride blossoms and blooms,
My work a delight.
But a shadow is cast
And doubts cause fright.

Advice I now need
My ego abates.
Some suggestions I hope,
Anxiously I wait.

Frustration looms,
A masterpiece to create?
But responses I get
Seem a little too fake?

My work without change
Remains incomplete.
Of my requests for help,
I’ve only heard “Neat.”

My poem filed away
In a binder on the shelf,
A relic, unfinished,
If only to myself.


Mac

© Copyright 2002 M.C. Konopacky - All Rights Reserved
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

1 posted 2002-01-06 11:23 AM


Mac this is simply wonderful. I am so much like you. I write and then I seem to need critiquing so bad. and when I post and there is no response I am like...what? dont like it? trash it? or its good doesnt need help? what?   it is truly a dilemma. I think we just don't have the faith in ourselves to judge our work. I see some poets that say " no critiquing" and I feel they must surely be secure in their writing. I loved this so much and I related to it. thanks for writing and posting it. Floria
GenXer
Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA
2 posted 2002-01-06 11:48 AM


Mac - First off I have no critiques on this one, it is good just the way it is.  I rarely critique because I don't feel comfortable doing it, but you might have inspired me to try and do it a little more.  Nice write, and seriously, I really have no suggestions on this one.  Serious, I am serious.

Dave

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
3 posted 2002-01-06 11:59 AM


Mac darling boy, There's absolutely nothing wrong with this it's flow is wonderful, it's form is excellent

What's to critique? 'Tis fabulous writing

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

     

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-01-06 01:25 PM




(smiles) Oh Mac, I wouldn't change a single thing in this piece, this is indeed a masterpiece and a relic worthy of merit! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this poem is excellent as it is! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Mac Attack
Member
since 2001-12-12
Posts 100
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2002-01-06 06:35 PM


LOL!  You have all conspired to make me laugh at myself!  Of this I am sure.  I suppose I am one of those people who doesn't believe what I do is really any good, so I simply CRAVE critiquing.  Really Dave, advice is almost always welcome, take some chances if you have an idea which may work better!  Most of us will greatly appreciate that you thought enough about the post to offer help!

Deep down (ok, not so deep obviously) I am convinced that what I write can't be good, or at least could definitely benefit from some major re-work.  My biggest problem is that, if it is good, then why is it good?  Having no formal training my efforts feel ok, but I'm sure I'm missing something. (Feel just a little familiar Floria? lol.)

You have all made some effort to put me at ease with my posts, so perhaps I will simply take your words at face value and attempt to content myself with the idea that I have some meager talent after all.  

Marsha and Noah, I admire your ability to post positive comments on so many posts (I've been reading quite a few), as well as being able to produce so many quality works of your own.

I guess I simply wanted to say "Thanks!"

Mac

Ps – how do you all manage to create such inventive smiley’s on here?  I only seem to be able to show basic ones.??

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
6 posted 2002-01-06 07:21 PM


Its nice to see you here, Mac....and please don't be insecure about your poetry.
Its very very good!
Some of us escapees from Moontown, tried out another website and they not only didn't like the way we wrote...they didn't even like our replies!
They also said that poetry should not be written from the heart!....can you imagine that?
I wrote a poem about it and posted it here.  Its called "The Poetry Police" if you want to read it.
For animated smilies...roll your page all the way down past the button for "submit reply".  You will see a blue bar, and on the left hand side...it says "smilies".  Click on that and a little page of smilies will open up.  Just follow the legend for the particular smilie you want to use, and don't forget to surround it with : on either side.
Good luck!

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Mac Attack
Member
since 2001-12-12
Posts 100
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2002-01-06 07:56 PM


Hi Lyra!
It's so nice to see some familiar moontown "faces" here (yourself and ecrivan, kethry too?).  I've seen some of the replies to "The Poetry Police" on the Moontown site, but not the actual post.  Glad to hear it is here, I will look it up.  Thanks for your greatly appreciated encouragment on my humble ability.  It means a lot to me comming from such a skilled writer as yourself!

Muchos Gracius for the tip on the smilies!  I could not figgure out how to add them in, so I have been typing the codes in and hoping they would work

Hope to "see" you around!


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