Bitter brown spirit (A Whispers Caress challenge)

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Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

0 posted 2002-01-05 06:27 PM

Bitter brown spirit

I entered the world back in June of 1966
one of two sisters, closely held in
Mothers womb
suffering
a loss of breath for one
and a loss of love for the other.
I became boundless.

From that day on
the Angel of Darkness was born.

My parents named me Maria (bitter)
and my angel of light, Antonietta (priceless)
how appropriate
she was buried I do believe
somewhere in the Catholic section
of the sleeping.

Mum always said my eyes were passionate
but to me, they were and still are a
bitter brown spirit
always searching for that blue beginning
an innocence I have only met through my son.

Being a granddaughter of a *******,
actually two;
one was born to an unmarried woman
and left at a doorstep, I never met him.
He was my father’s father.
A great man I am told
Am I really a De Liseo?
The other was despicably perverted
his eyes roamed like those portraits
in haunted castles.
unfortunately I had the pleasure
of knowing him; only too well.

Growing was hard
I suffered guilt, sexual disorientation
loneliness. I still do.

I’m of all the above and I’m not.
Who I am supposed to be or not to be
I have no idea,
somehow I lost it along the way.
One thing I am sure of
I am a Mother, for my son I live
and through him
I am loved.

Angel of Darkness
6th January 2002

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (01-05-2002 06:31 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2002-01-05 06:33 PM

(sigh) Sooooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, you are a very loving mother and friend and poetess and to us all, you are never bitter but a loving graceful spirit! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, God Bless You! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Maria, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (01-05-2002 06:34 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2002-01-05 08:20 PM

Like a bittersweet chocolate, this poem tastes of sweet love, coated with some bitter touches. A lot to digest in this one, dark angel.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

3 posted 2002-01-05 09:12 PM

How we all have suffered, and yet, you know our words they shine through as this did, as you do.

Kathleen--
Neither genius, fame, nor love show the greatness of the soul.
Only kindness can do that. ~Jean Baptiste Henri Lacordaire~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-01-05 10:38 PM

Hey luscious...have missed you.

Very painful and somber read, and my heart aches for you. But I know what you ARE--
a talented poet and beautiful soul, and my friend for life. (Drinks still on in Sydney, I hope.) Will write soon, lovie, and explain all. HUGS.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

5 posted 2002-01-05 10:54 PM

DA, this is superb writing....much more enjoyable reading it than living it, I am sure. Thank you for the journey....

"his eyes roamed like those portraits
in haunted castles"...what a fantastic line!!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 2002-01-05 11:49 PM

Noah:
Thank you for your kind words, your sweet kisses and your best wishes. May love and light always shine upon you too

Midnitesun:
Thank you for your lovely reply, indeed alot to digest, I should quit the chocolate ey? hehe. I appreciate you stopping by

Kathleen:
I thank you for your sweet and tender reply.
Thanks for stopping and having a read.
hugs
Maree.

Oh oh Gorgeous one:
Oh humble one heheh Sydney? yup the drinks are a waitin. Waiting for you and for Kamla and whoever else wants to come along

Oxford St, heeerreeeee weeeee come.... er.... um....hmmm maybe not lol.
Karen on a serious note.. you're more than gorgeous, thanks so much for your kind words, don't forget "friend for life" I'm right there beside ya Thank you for stopping by

Maree

Dearest Sir Balladeer:
I thank you humbly and from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for reading

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member

since 2000-11-03

Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale

7 posted 2002-01-06 12:04 PM

My Dear Dark Angel,

Your's is the first of the answers to my challenge that I have read.

I sit in sheer amazement, for lack of a better term.
I am thoroughly impressed with the strength of this piece, and saddened beyond belief at the interpretation of it.

Excellent write, Dear Poetess....Excellent write.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

8 posted 2002-01-06 01:09 AM

                     I entered the world back in June of 1966
                    one of two sisters, closely held in
                    Mothers womb
                   suffering
                    a loss of breath for one
                    and a loss of love for the other.
                    I became boundless.

                   ====================================
                    Mum always said my eyes were passionate
                    but to me, they were and still are a
                    bitter brown spirit
                    always searching for that blue beginning
                    an innocence I have only met through my son.

                    =====================================
                    The other was despicably perverted
                    his eyes roamed like those portraits
                    in haunted castles.
                    unfortunately I had the pleasure
                    of knowing him; only too well.

                    Growing was hard
                    I suffered guilt, sexual disorientation
                    loneliness. I still do.

                   I’m of all the above and I’m not.
                    Who I am supposed to be or not to be
                    I have no idea,
                    somehow I lost it along the way.
                    One thing I am sure of
                    I am a Mother, for my son I live
                    and through him
                    I am loved.
================================================

I was just going to quietly read in here tonite...my computer is on its last legs...
I hope this reply will go thru...for I couldnt NOT reply to this...
Maree this is one of the most honest writes Ive read in a long time...
and I am pretty much lacking words to tell you how it touched me....and impressed me...
I hope you found some healing and release in its sharing and discoveries.
This is an exceptional write, truly.
jm

"Though my soul may sit in darkness,
It will arise in perfect light.
For I have loved the stars much too fondly ...
To be fearful of the night."

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

9 posted 2002-01-06 12:39 PM

Misplaced guilt is a burden too many often bear, and I know if you haven't already you will realise it isn't yours to carry.

Through him and many others you are loved- because you are both lovable and loving.

(K) (F)
and you will always be my
meemee

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

10 posted 2002-01-07 12:09 PM

A W C:
I am so glad you enjoyed it and I thank you for your kind words

Have you read Jamie"s poem in asnwer to your challenge? There's no douobt you will love it.

Maree.

JM:
thanks for stopping by and having a read and for your lovely and kind words...
I am so happy to know that it touched you and impressed you.
Believe it or not, I did find healing and release in sharing it....felt like a weight was taken of my shoulders

I thank you.
Maree

Jamie dear:
I know it isnt mine to carry, but sometimes it just creeps up on you without warning. I thank you for mentioning this challenge to me, as I said to JM...I did find healng and release.

Mee Mee

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (01-07-2002 07:22 PM).]

furlong
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 129

11 posted 2002-01-07 04:53 PM

M

Very different. Prosey in parts perhaps, but also a patently honest autobiography which draws the reader to the end effortlessly.

Thank you

F

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

12 posted 2002-01-07 10:29 PM

Maree, this is incredible....you have taken my breath away.  Such a deep, raw pain and lonliness.  Both the lines "but to me, they were and still are a
                                             bitter brown spirit
                                             always searching for that blue beginning" and
                                            "his eyes roamed like those portraits
                                             in haunted castles." were phenomenal and striking.  I am extremely impressed and I am finding that I am still in love with your poetry.  You have such talent, my friend.

*Krista Knutson*

"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." -Gandhi

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

13 posted 2002-01-07 10:55 PM

Trips through midnight's mind has always hidden the light of who we can-should-might-may-will-oughta BE, leaving us ever in that place not-heaven, not-hell grasping for whatever we can grab, praying, cussing, screaming who-what-whyyyyyyy ME!

Then love shows up and though we may not quite KNOW, WE COME CLOSE, and we hold tight to that we love - for them, for us...for life.

Touched me, my friend...

jwesley

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

14 posted 2002-01-08 11:30 PM

Furlong:
Thanks so much fopr your lovely reply and for taking the time to stop by and read

Alwye:
Hi Hon.. it's been so long hasnt it? I thank you for stopping by and having a read and I am so glad you weren't dissapointed. I thank you for your lovely comments and compliment

jwesley:
So glad to have touched you dear

Thank you all again so very much
Maree

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

15 posted 2002-01-10 12:46 PM

Maree--You have spread yourself out in words..and I see pain, yes..but also, beautiful strength. I think this poem is fantastic!!!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

16 posted 2002-01-10 05:21 PM

Martie:
It's so good to see you. I thank you for your most lovely reply and for stopping by to have a read.

Have missed you.
Maree

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

17 posted 2003-04-07 05:18 PM

Maree....just replying again to let you know how much I understand this:

"I’m of all the above and I’m not.
Who I am supposed to be or not to be
I have no idea,
somehow I lost it along the way.
One thing I am sure of
I am a Mother, for my son I live
and through him
I am loved."

Hugs!!

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