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Open Poetry #18
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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2002-01-03 08:14 PM


I fell head over heels in love with you,
When first I spied your eyes of blue,
I was in Dilliards, out at the mall,
Tripped on the escalator, and had a great fall,
As I lay prone, in the lingerie aisle,
I looked through the maidenforms, and saw your great smile,
I was in heaven, gone to the hereafter,
I heard songs of angels, in sweet sounds of your laughter,
Words can't express, the beauty I saw,
Between a pink flowered half-slip, and a blue wonder bra,
You came over to me, and knelt by my side,
I was ecstatic, I thought I had died,
Your words were so lovely, "I think he's still breathing,"
But then you stood up, and started to leaving,
I tried hard to rise, but fell in a heap,
My angel was leaving, I started to weep,
Down past the perfumes, out into the mall,
To my Fair Maiden, I yelled out "y'all,
Please don't desert me, we've hardly just met,
You are a goddess, even purtier yet,"
But she didn't hear me; I still hear her laugh,
As she walked out of my life, down past Body and Bath.

[This message has been edited by Tim (01-03-2002 08:16 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Tim - All Rights Reserved
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

1 posted 2002-01-03 08:15 PM


Oh Tim this is precious. My daughter is a mall rat and I so enjoyed this and I must show this to her. It is simply wonderful and all so true. floria
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-01-03 10:57 PM


Good chuckle, Tim...guess it could've gone either way, huh?
amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
3 posted 2002-01-03 11:06 PM


Really great work...I think this is so sweet and hiarious.  It's her loss that she didn't catch you peeping.  But you're lucking you didn't get carted off to the loony bin for bein' in such a precarious position in the underwear section!!!  I loved this!
Miss Behavin'
Member
since 1999-06-16
Posts 84

4 posted 2002-01-03 11:07 PM


Right straight to Victoria's Secret...

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2002-01-04 12:29 PM


Tim - this is the first I've read of yours, and I'm glad that I did. It's got everything, humor, some sadness, and romance. I will read more...

BC

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

6 posted 2002-01-04 12:34 PM


This is so unique..i loved it.haa..nicely done tim..

                  ~Victoria~

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
~ David Viscott


                                            


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2002-01-04 01:08 AM


Yes the mall reveals some lovely pleasures and hidden treasures...James
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-01-04 05:05 AM




(big huggssssssss) Oh Tim, this had such a sad ending but this is sooooooooo beautiful, for love can always be found when you least expect it! (sigh) You are sooooooo romantic, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Tim, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 2002-01-04 08:49 PM


ROFL Very creative and witty, Tim!
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2002-01-04 09:05 PM


Tim, I love to go to the mall and people watch....OH NO!...You were the one I saw!!
Loved this....gave me a chuckle.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~

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