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Open Poetry #18
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catalinamoon
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The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2002-01-03 05:29 PM


A taste of succulence grown tart
a sip of much too far apart
Your dryness hints of Chardonay
a touch of oaken love today.

Drops of Merlot upon my lips
the sweetest love turned bitter kiss
Inspired by thoughts of Cabernet
there was no wine to make you stay.

Your fruit grows heavy on the vine
Oh, what I'd give to thusly dine
As every draught of new Gamay
becomes a hideout from my pain.

Subtley, you stopped tasting fine
became a jug of Gallo wine..

[This message has been edited by catalinamoon (01-03-2002 06:45 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Sandra - All Rights Reserved
Interloper
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Deep in the heart
1 posted 2002-01-03 05:46 PM


Sandra, this is 1derful!  
Screwtop bottle of Gallo wine, indeed!
Hilarious!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-01-03 06:50 PM




(sigh) Soooooooo beautuful, sweet friend, your words are always so delightful and lovely to read! (kiss on cheek) May your heart quench the wine of true love forever! We all love you so mcuh, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sandra, tha k you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2002-01-03 06:50 PM


catalinamoon - wine I like, and a toast to you. For writing this wonderful poem...

BC

Marsha
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Maidstone Kent England
4 posted 2002-01-03 06:56 PM


Sandra Cheers this is truly divine wine.

I absolutely love this.

I'll bring some cheese lets have a wine and cheese do.

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

5 posted 2002-01-03 08:32 PM


Oh my gosh,,, this hit home with me, these are my husbands choices, and the jug of gallo, I actually dropped one once and what a mess. hmmmm think I did it on purpose. lol..nice poem. floria
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-01-03 08:37 PM


Subtley, you stopped tasting fine
became a jug of Gallo wine..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Sandra!!  This made me smile big time...those last two lines did it!
Hugs, Nancy.

~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
7 posted 2002-01-03 09:11 PM


What? No Thunderbird?...very neat here, Sandra...very gentle smile
rwood
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since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
8 posted 2002-01-03 09:19 PM


I love this Sandra! Gallo and yallo. For sure. May your new "vine" be of exquisite taste, body and bouquet. Wonderful write.

Sincerely,
Regina

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
9 posted 2002-01-03 10:35 PM


What an excellent read.. of course.. what else would I expect!!!

I love the ending, especially...

Hugs,

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
   Percy Bysshe Shelley

Lady Lost
Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470

10 posted 2002-01-03 10:46 PM


I'll drink to this!! Cheers, my friend, this is a wonderful poem.. and instead of crying (which I usually do after reading your poems!!)  I am smiling ~!

A happy new year to you!! :-)

~beth

"I woke you up and I slit the throat of your confidence, and we laughed in the night and I felt alright..." (3EB)


Startime
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since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
11 posted 2002-01-03 11:44 PM


*giggling* you did it....You wrote one a poem that make me laugh out loud....A far cry from the wine of the Gods....*giggling wickedly* too bad you couldn't send this one to him. LOL BRAVO!!!! I love it. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Auguste
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By the sea
12 posted 2002-01-04 12:18 PM


You last two lines made me laugh.  What a perfect ending.  Much enjoyed, my friend.

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

OWG
Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 155
California
13 posted 2002-01-04 12:52 PM


so my mad-dog 20/20 would not be welcome
even if I wrapped it in my best brown paper bag?

(jerome, pull the benz over at that little jewerly shop....let us buy a fine vessel for my humble nector..)

anyway..dug the poem...just have some fine memories with Gallo though

Victoria
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14 posted 2002-01-04 03:54 PM


loved it Sandra..and a very fine piece this is..will you share some of that wine with me? ha..hugs..stay away from owg..loves to get the women drunk haa...

                  ~Victoria~

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
~ David Viscott


                                            


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

15 posted 2002-01-06 10:23 AM


I absolutely loved this Sandra.  Isn't it funny how sometimes wine can be so bitter!!  This is into the library for keepers!!

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
16 posted 2002-01-06 10:29 AM


Sandra - I really like the consistency of your metaphor in this poem.  Especially how well you characterized each trait of love-gone-sour with the proper wine.  I especially like your link between merlot and cabernet, as most cabernet's use a pretty hefty percentage of merlot as the filler grape.  This is a very tight poem, deceptively complex because it flows so very well.  I hope others read it more than once and take time enough to fully appreciate the nuances here.

The finishing lines are really great, speaking volumes on what has become of what could have been.  At first, I smiled because it seemed humorous to bring in Gallo; and then it occurred to me that there is no humor in the loss of the potential for a truly great love.

I'm probably analyzing your poem way too much; but, if I was teaching a class on the use of metaphors and similes, I would be asking your permission to use this excellent poem as an example of what aspiring poets should seek to achieve.  I'm serious, Sandra.  This is an excellent poem.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (01-06-2002 10:40 AM).]

Virgo_Rains
Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 54
Pacific Northwest, U.S.A.
17 posted 2002-01-06 12:38 PM


As one who appreciates the fermented fruits of the vine..I loved your poem!  Oh how like wine...upon the lips of loves sweet past to taste sour...

S.D.K.

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Deep in the heart
18 posted 2002-01-07 02:05 PM


Too good not to be read by more of us.  BTTT

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2002-01-07 04:37 PM



You know what?  Thank goodness for the back-to-the-toppers...for I missed this the first time 'round...

Good one, Cat!

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
20 posted 2002-01-07 07:56 PM


This is soooo good, Catalinamoon. I like it.
Madame Chipmunk
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since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
21 posted 2002-01-07 08:08 PM


A toast to you, Sandra...
Excellent write, I especially loved the last 2 lines....
Things COULD'VE been worse though, he could have turned into one of those boxes of wine.
             

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
22 posted 2002-01-07 08:15 PM


Love the last two lines!

Cor

Duncan
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Posts 5455

23 posted 2002-01-08 12:26 PM


The humor you've brought to an unhappy ending is priceless!
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
24 posted 2002-01-08 12:34 PM


I probably am reading it incorrectly as I have had the odd excellent wine myself turn to vinager!  The sad part about a love gone bad is that it happens so quickly like becoming a cheap Gallo.  Sanda, you outdid yourself on this one, fine writing.

~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~

vlraynes
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since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
25 posted 2002-01-09 03:58 AM



Sandra-
   Oh wow...this is awesome!
   Excellent use of metaphors to make your
   point in this piece..I LOVE IT!
   VERY well done, my friend.
   Hugs,
   ~Vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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