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Open Poetry #18
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2002-01-02 09:21 PM


The last time you wrote
I read the finality in your words.
It wasn't what you said
but what you didn't say.

At that point I knew
when the tears didn't come
I had reached the point
where I needed to be.

I had inhaled all the sadness
choking on my sobs.
I've cried a river over you
and kept trying to force it back.

Left with a sense of regret
the frustration and concern,
are merely what I've made of them
buried in the past that will never return.

Drained by the loving
strained through my heart
sifting through the remnants
I've returned to whom I was
and not what I allowed you to make of me.

Ashamed that I had counted on you
to rescue or complete me.
Happiness, a personal matter
the very fibers of our being.

Our sincerity and compassion
our inner strength that makes us whole,
so that we can accept and understand
when it's time for letting go.

Reflecting on the necessity
the very essence of our strength
self assured and confident,
to have and to always hold.
In hopes to share the best part of ourselves
with someone deserving of.

Like an ivory tower,
secure in our dwellings to draw upon
a private place that no one can destroy
least we crumble, least we fall.

Now that I can breathe again,
I'm reminded, comforted by the words
and wonder why, how had I forgotten?
That it is I who shall ultimately create my own happiness.

Relieved to have reached the point
the place where I needed to be
I've spent all the time searching for,
what I've known all along
I've made my peace

My heart no longer bleeds....


© Copyright 2002 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
1 posted 2002-01-02 09:24 PM


Very nice journey you have taken us along on here. Well written. Might want to keep those trauma dressings close at hand though.. though the bleeding has stopped for now-- these wounds still sound fairly recent.

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-01-02 09:35 PM


:kiss

(big hugggssssssss) Oh, I'm so happy you have found peace now, and I hope you have found true love that you can never again regret and cry to and find total joy and comfort with! (kiss on cheek) So beautful, sweet friend, we all love you so very much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

thepoeticplumber
Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 185

3 posted 2002-01-02 09:37 PM


A happy ending for a troubling journey.  The best time for peace is always right now.  I feel that is where this poem is.  A extremely fine job of expression.  Roger


Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

4 posted 2002-01-02 09:48 PM


Nicely written Ms.Serenade...yes peace within is the key to happiness..hugs

                  ~Victoria~

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
~ David Viscott


                                            


BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2002-01-02 10:05 PM


Jamie~ Thank you for that bit about the trauma dressings, you made me smile! Hey at least I'm down to a bandaid to stop the bleeding. Time has a way of healing all wounds.

Noah, Noah, Noah~ how shall I ever thank you for the love and light you shed on everything I write.  I so appreciate your kind words.

Roger~ This is the best way to start the New Year.  I thank you kindly for reading and leaving such a nice reply, I'm touched by your words.

Victoria~ My sister wrote those words to me so many years ago when I had graduated from High School, "that it is I who shall ultimately create my own happiness"  How timely her words were then and now.  Thank you so much for reading and for your hugs.      

  

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2002-01-02 10:17 PM


Blues, this is really a wonderful well written expression of your journey through the pain and loss of a relationship, to the understanding and acceptance of self. And when you are solidy secure in your own heart and mind that you are the source of your own happiness, you will be ready to share it with another, who hopefully will also have reached that stage of maturity and personal growth. What a way to start a new year!

May the ripple of LOVE
become the wave of PEACE

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
7 posted 2002-01-02 11:03 PM


It is a journey for sure, one that I have struggled to come full circle with.
I am comforted by your understanding thoughts.
I think we all want to be understood, and thank you doesn't seem like enough Midnitesun, but I do thank you very much.

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
8 posted 2002-01-29 01:23 AM


BluesSerenade,
Pain and grief seem to be our most intense instructors. But they teach us well lessons we don't soon forget and often are blessed for knowing. I too have learned many of these lessons the hard way. But I learned them well. With history like that you can't help but become a strong person. It is evident and it makes me proud that you're my friend. Thanks for sharing such personal things.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2002-01-29 11:06 AM


Larry~
I thought this was buried but I'm happy you went and dug it up.
Yes the lessons are hard fought but like you
say we are a better person for them.  
I'm touched by your comments, thank you so
much for leaving them here for me.

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