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Open Poetry #18
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-01-02 12:03 PM


Sifting through rubble of time
awakening from dream of rhyme
lessons always
gently learned
fire sparks but
never burns
crust of sleep
embeds my eyes
scratching sight
with truth of lies--
tell me, where is compromise
in this state of inbetween?


Licking loving, wind-bruised lips
a finger's trace in wonderment--
a memory of a lover's kiss--
an open mouth that screams silence...
counting grains of sand in tears,
hourglass imprisoned years--
too soft a fall to echo fears
and each, alone, no consequence.


But every grain when piled on high
adds weight enough to stagger knees
as every raindrop from the sky
gathers to create the seas.


Tell me, where is compromise
in this state of inbetween?



© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

1 posted 2002-01-02 12:11 PM


"as every raindrop from the sky
gathers to create the seas." Oh I love your lines.And the sentiment, in this state of inbetween. floria


Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
2 posted 2002-01-02 12:12 PM


*sigh* I am not sure what the answer is...I have learned to stand back and watch but not be drawn into any state. This poem is making me think. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
3 posted 2002-01-02 12:15 PM


Your muse is working wonders lately serenity. This is one more fine poem. For what it is worth, it lies at a different place for everyone i suppose.. somewhere in that area of love that harbours indifference and passion-- for each can led the way to compromise-- of course that is just me

very well done --

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2002-01-02 01:10 PM


with truth of lies--
tell me, where is compromise
in this state of inbetween?

Licking loving, wind-bruised lips
a finger's trace in wonderment--
a memory of a lover's kiss--
an open mouth that screams silence...
counting grains of sand in tears,
hourglass imprisoned years--
too soft a fall to echo fears
and each, alone, no consequence.

====================================

ya mean there is supposed to be compromise???
huh? who knew?
well baby if you get an answer to that question let me know...let us all know..
this is a timely piece here KA..and you worked those metaphors and images to aching poetic perfection...but then you always do in your mirrors of rhyme.
Light a candle for me comp baby...its a tired moth *sigh*
love you me twin
me

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2002-01-02 03:17 PM


an excellent metaphor.  In-between?  Well, maybe it means different things for different readers, I don't know, I know that where I am at today is there is no more in-between for me.  I'm either hot or cold. And I'm not sure that's good or bad
I enjoyed the intensity and boldness of this piece, for which you obviously have much talent in delivering.

'Fiction is the truth inside the lie.' ~Stephen King

GenXer
Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA
6 posted 2002-01-02 04:30 PM


"fire sparks but
never burns"


Serenity - The whole thing is pure poetry.  It captures so well , at least for me, the feeling of just nothing, where there is no joy or even pain of love to be felt.  Truly a great write.  I am bias, however, because I like poems that gravitate toward the sadder side of the spectrum.

Dave

Dave  

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
7 posted 2002-01-02 05:30 PM


Another outstanding writing from you, Karen. I like this a lot. I feel it a lot. How do you get out of in between, anyway?
Sandra

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

8 posted 2002-01-02 05:48 PM


Happy New Year to ya....in between is the worst isnt it? Nicely done

                      ~Victoria~

                                  

                                

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
~ David Viscott


                                            


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2002-01-04 03:20 PM


Thanks all, and to Sandra...I'm not sure, but I think the only way out is IN...lol.

Thanks for reading!

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