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Open Poetry #18
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state of inbetween
| Open Poetry #18 |
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state of inbetween |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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awakening from dream of rhyme lessons always gently learned fire sparks but never burns crust of sleep embeds my eyes scratching sight with truth of lies-- tell me, where is compromise in this state of inbetween? a finger's trace in wonderment-- a memory of a lover's kiss-- an open mouth that screams silence... counting grains of sand in tears, hourglass imprisoned years-- too soft a fall to echo fears and each, alone, no consequence. adds weight enough to stagger knees as every raindrop from the sky gathers to create the seas. in this state of inbetween? |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
"as every raindrop from the sky gathers to create the seas." Oh I love your lines.And the sentiment, in this state of inbetween. floria |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* I am not sure what the answer is...I have learned to stand back and watch but not be drawn into any state. This poem is making me think. **big hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Your muse is working wonders lately serenity. This is one more fine poem. For what it is worth, it lies at a different place for everyone i suppose.. somewhere in that area of love that harbours indifference and passion-- for each can led the way to compromise-- of course that is just me very well done -- There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
with truth of lies-- tell me, where is compromise in this state of inbetween? Licking loving, wind-bruised lips a finger's trace in wonderment-- a memory of a lover's kiss-- an open mouth that screams silence... counting grains of sand in tears, hourglass imprisoned years-- too soft a fall to echo fears and each, alone, no consequence. ==================================== ya mean there is supposed to be compromise??? huh? who knew?  well baby if you get an answer to that question let me know...let us all know.. this is a timely piece here KA..and you worked those metaphors and images to aching poetic perfection...but then you always do in your mirrors of rhyme. Light a candle for me comp baby...its a tired moth *sigh* love you me twin me |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
an excellent metaphor. In-between? Well, maybe it means different things for different readers, I don't know, I know that where I am at today is there is no more in-between for me. I'm either hot or cold. And I'm not sure that's good or bad I enjoyed the intensity and boldness of this piece, for which you obviously have much talent in delivering. 'Fiction is the truth inside the lie.' ~Stephen King |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
"fire sparks but never burns" Serenity - The whole thing is pure poetry. It captures so well , at least for me, the feeling of just nothing, where there is no joy or even pain of love to be felt. Truly a great write. I am bias, however, because I like poems that gravitate toward the sadder side of the spectrum. Dave Dave |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Another outstanding writing from you, Karen. I like this a lot. I feel it a lot. How do you get out of in between, anyway? Sandra |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Happy New Year to ya....in between is the worst isnt it? Nicely done ~Victoria~ "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks all, and to Sandra...I'm not sure, but I think the only way out is IN...lol. Thanks for reading! |
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