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Open Poetry #17
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Larry C
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0 posted 2001-12-29 12:55 PM


Come In Here to Roast the Balladeer!
By Larry Chadwick

The reason you have been invited in,
Is for a roast of our favorite Balladeer.
It’s time to raise a hardy toast,
And tell him why you think he is a ‘deer’.

Don’t be shy and don’t hold back,
Think like that sick mind of Don Rickles.
Forget what Balladeer may say,
I’m sure he’ll have the giggles.

So rack your brain and cock those pistols,
And let the roast begin.
Balladeer enjoy yourself,
Please wear that silly grin.

And in the spirit of fairness…I’ll go first.


© Copyright 2001 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved
Larry C
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1 posted 2001-12-29 12:56 PM


Balladeer is so hooked on the ladies…
He has a total of six exes.
My Ex-wife…….
Wouldn’t that make him from Texas?

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-12-29 01:13 AM


Someone mention
...venison?
I know just what to do...
milk and honey is the thing
to make the deer meat stew!

Lots of heat to tenderize,
mushroom's gravy--so divine--
and time and thyme and time, again,
until a fork shouts "mine!"

*with giggles*

Congrat on your milestone, Michael!

Thank you Larry! I can't begin to tell you how much Balladeer has helped me--he is a gifted poet and wonderful teacher!

Larry C
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3 posted 2001-12-29 01:15 AM


serenity, honey...you call that a roast?! LOL
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2001-12-29 01:17 AM


I KNOW...you should've read what I deleted...cain't hep it! I LOVE venison!!!
Larry C
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5 posted 2001-12-29 01:21 AM


Okay...But I meant a ROAST. (yeah, I did a delete as well) ROTFLMAO
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2001-12-29 01:54 AM


Balladeer and Long John - Unplugged

It has been a little hectic, it has been a wee bit wild
But most of us have read them and inevitably smiled
But it seems the gritty dirt has now been swept beneath the rug
As Balladeer and Long John are performing now - unplugged

More gentle are their warblings, more friendly is the trill
Long John gave a rave review of B’s poetic skill
Now upon the poet’s stage, neither will get slugged
For they’re brothers to the very end, and playing tunes, unplugged  

They’ve removed the amps and wires, they discarded mikes and things
The simplicity inspires little strums on cat gut strings
And Balladeer made sure that everything had been debugged
For the two are in their glory, unrehearsed, unscathed  - unplugged

L J unplugged  his plug-ins, Balladeer debugged the bugs
Now the dialogue, it seems to me, would be a bunch of hugs
But when asked about the cat gut strings, Long John simply shrugged
“A pirate does what he has to do, to get himself unplugged”

Another sheep, another gut, how perfectly atrocious!
Balladeer said, “Strumming cat gut strings does not make you precocious
My mission is to save the sheep, for that’s what poets do”
Then Long John laughed, “If that is it, I really pity ewe”

He turned away, then shyly looking back with beaming grin
Bring out the amps and steel guitar, I wanna get plugged in


Hey, guys just one more thing, we all just love your poetry
It's a major exercise in tritest triviality

PS, You can't roast one without the other!
LOve ya both
Liz

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2001-12-29 02:05 AM


STANDING OVATION!!!

Liz, ya did that with the class and dignity that is YOU...fabulous!!!

again, I wanna write like you! hell, I wanna think like you!!!

total admiration!

(sorry Larry, lol, just happy tonight I guess!)

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2001-12-29 06:48 AM


Deer bugs me in the morning, de-bugs me late at night
Although I'd like to roast him with chuckles of delight
I'm finding it quite difficult, and still remain polite

I've read all his poetry.... the good, the sad, the moaning
some of his best lampoon ones always leave me groaning
but can I take this roast outside...to let him be home phoning

I see around me songs of praise most of them for Deer
he has offered all he has to bring good writing here
No! I just can't do it,roasting him would cost me tears

I guess all of the compliments must go to his head
I know the dreams of womenfolk  visit him in bed
I cannot do a roast of Deer...could he be grilled instead?

Keth


Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown


[This message has been edited by Kethry (12-29-2001 07:10 AM).]

Ariana
Senior Member
since 2000-10-08
Posts 571
Orlando, Florida
9 posted 2001-12-29 08:24 AM


I think Liz and Kethry have said it all.  I too have enjoyed all of the writings here on Passions, especially from the "'Deer".  Thanks for a job well done and looking forward to more of the good stuff.

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
10 posted 2001-12-29 10:37 AM


Wow! I don't know if I should laugh or cry!

Balladeer is a brat,
Now what do you think of that?
The girls they love him so,
That's what makes him crow!

He's good at what poets do...
But then again, so are you.
Maybe it is about his age,
Everybody sees him as a sage!

Perhaps he has cast spell,
He seems to have done it well.
All I want is a simple roast,
But all I hear is everyone boast.

So everyone go back to your rooms,
And think with just a little doom.
I want you to roast his royal butt,
What's a matter, have you got no guts?

[This message has been edited by Larry C (12-29-2001 10:38 AM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2001-12-29 12:12 PM


Larry, please hand me the microphone...if that's okay,
Just a  few words about our Balladeer...I'd like to say.

He's oh so sweet and charming
To all the gals in here,
I guess what's so alarming...
And to me is quite unclear...
Just how can he be so bold to ignore
The ones up North who pout...
While he's showing pictures without fear
Of Nan he's kissing way down South!

So while he is off and flirting
With the new gals he hasn't seen...
May I just remind him....
I HAVE A GUILLOTINE!!


*Nancy bows to the applause and disappears...
Instantly to reappear.....
At the back of the crowd...
With Balladeer by the ear!*


Thanks Larry....I feel much better now.


Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
12 posted 2001-12-29 01:25 PM


Our Balladeer is quite the man
Cept when he starts eating spam
I thought spam was a junk e-mail
Until I heard his sorry tale
Of how this is his favourite food
Though the after-farts are kinda rude

His duels with LongJohn and Toe
Their bickering goes too and fro
All trying for one upmanship
Each laughs when the others slip
Such fun to watch these larks each time
Each thinks he’s won the duel of rhyme

But Deer he has a reputation
One I thing that I must here mention
Of how he’s such a ladies man
With women swooning at his hand
He writes verses with romantic ease
That bring us ladies to our knees
But what’s this I see of six ex-wives??
Even cats don’t have this many lives

Oh what fun this roast is. But Larry, don't cook him to well, I like my roast medium-rare!!  

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

[This message has been edited by Tracey (12-29-2001 01:26 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2001-12-29 02:07 PM




(big hugggsssssss) YAY!!! Here's to our sweet Balladeer and to many more wonderful posts from him and his loving heart, as for all of us! (smiles) Beautiful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Larry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Balladeer
Administrator
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
14 posted 2001-12-29 05:25 PM


Gee, Larry, see what has transpired?
You little ploy for me backfired!
My fellow bards are tried and true
And would not put me in a stew!

Well, Liz called me and John unplugged
But I am sure that she was drugged
And Kethry wants to have me grilled
To have her appetite fulfilled..

Not even Nancy could be mean
Except for that darned guillotine!
Why, even Tracey girl agrees
That I can bring her to her knees!

Serenity? She is my hon.
I'll always give her venison!
I have no doubt what she deleted
Would be too hot to be repeated!

I remember Dino and his roasts
And one thing I recall the most
Was  everyone that he selected
Were those that he, in fact, respected.

And so I thank you, Larry C.
For having this fine roast for me.
Not your fault it turned out this way..
There's simply nothing bad to say!!


Larry C
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since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
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15 posted 2001-12-29 05:36 PM


Balladeer you must be older than you look,
Seems you can read my like a book.
Though you pringled and I'm not your son,
I find that knowing you is so much fun!

So I'm glad you like this little roast,
It was my pleasure to be the host.
But most all the poets here don't have a clue,
About what it really means to to roast your stew.

Thanks Member Patricius - Sir!

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2001-12-29 05:57 PM


Yep, I'll admit , your pretty hard to roast, Mr. B,in fact I offer you a toast
For all you've done for passions, and for poetry, May your golden pen continue to inspire our humble quills, and may you always live in the joys of your creative talents.
Cheers! Cheers! Cheers1
From a lover of unplugged guitars
Liz

Thanks Larry for this posting this thread

Balladeer
Administrator
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
17 posted 2001-12-29 06:11 PM


God bless you, Liz. If knowing you were the only thing I ever got out of my poetry, it would be more than enough. Your poetry shall always continue to mesmerize me with its perfection. I wish all the best for you

Magnus
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Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
18 posted 2001-12-29 06:19 PM


the 'deer is such a dude.
Always kind and never rude.
Trying to spell 50 cent words.
but only getting crap from birds..

Michael...we love you...you are a trip..
Now,  just go post a poem and slip...
The peel is on the floor waitin for you.
cause you are the 'deer of Passions, too..

Victoria
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

19 posted 2001-12-29 07:54 PM


there was once a balladeer
upon his nose a wart appeared
he couldnt see it for his cataracts
his mind was gone, thats a fact
but they loved him anyway
even though he had a sex change
no wonder i thought he/she was strange
he now rides side saddle on the range haha


Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
20 posted 2001-12-29 08:09 PM


Victoria knows how to show respect with a roast! Three cheers...my hat's off too you.
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