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Open Poetry #17
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Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia

0 posted 2001-12-28 01:26 AM



Vanilla Breeze

There's no fear in this moment of a lonely soul wanting to go back
Very little light creeps through the large space she's left open for just him
The gentle night was calling so loudly for his strong pair of hands
And, so easily she allowed the darkness to pull him a little closer in...

Resting upon the glass top laid a symbol of pure peace in the room
And, she watched the shadows of the objects nearby dancing on the wall
To the rhythm of the air filled darkness the flames moved differently each time
That vanilla scented candle left no hesitation to the only good she could recall...

Silently there before it she took the long way home to his face
Being sure she wouldn't miss a single memory stored for safe keeping inside
She noticed there in the dark not a soul remained within reach
For loneliness just paved her path even more plainly to her unheard cry...

But, she feared not that the only one who listens with all his heart
Could hear her even though the miles had a distance all their own
For somehow that vanilla breeze was going to make the night less sad
And, his memory was going to replace the pouring rain she had always known...

She just sat there in the state of mellow with every breath she took
Like a porcelain doll she stayed flawless in her memories eye
Cause in the mind you can make a moment any way you create it to be
So, she just watched the two of them soar beneath the midnight sky...

Her last memory of together was just before their time was up
It seemed to stand as brightly as the flame burning still
Pleasantly she closed her eyes because she so remembered his eyes
It was the first time any breeze had ever brought along a chill...

She viewed her feelings as when looking in through a mosaic window
One would find the distortion of things placed there in the way
No real way to explain how her heart now can fly higher then ever
So, she just sat in the mist of the vanilla breeze without the words to say...

If she has to love she will do it silently and especially at night
She'll do it gracefully when it's just her and that candle and no soul in sight
She's sure there will be more loneliness she'll take with her to her knees
But, she'll always have those memories that linger within that vanilla breeze...


Sauni @~~~>~~

The Sun Shines
Not On Us, But In Us
The River Flows Not Past,
But Through Us

© Copyright 2001 Saundra - All Rights Reserved
EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
1 posted 2001-12-28 01:33 AM


Saunni you are very pretty..anyways, uhh.... where was I..........oh yea ok ummm, I really liked your work.
Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
2 posted 2001-12-28 01:37 AM


Thank you, Eagle, for thinking I am pretty and for liking my poem Thanks for taking the time to read it.

Sauni @~~~>~~

The Sun Shines
Not On Us, But In Us
The River Flows Not Past,
But Through Us

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2001-12-28 02:08 AM


"Cause in the mind you can make a moment any way you create it to be"
That is so true, Sauni. Happy holidays to you and the whole family! Keep writing and smiling, and resting in those sweet vanilla breezes.

May the ripple of LOVE
become the wave of PEACE

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
4 posted 2001-12-28 06:58 AM


nice storytelling, I enjoyed the read
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
5 posted 2001-12-28 07:44 AM


Saunni - Wow - Whatta poem!  The form shook me a little at first, so I went back and read it at a different pace and everything fell into place.  The story is very haunting, and sad.  I like the way you developed the theme, and especially like the shift in format in the last verse to conclude the story.  I can tell you worked hard on this poem, and I sincerely hope others read it, too.  Great work, Saunni.

BTW - Your picture is smashing, too.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (12-28-2001 07:46 AM).]

Virgo_Rains
Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 54
Pacific Northwest, U.S.A.
6 posted 2001-12-28 10:01 AM


Saunni,
This writing is great....a pure pleasure to read...may your memories always keep

VR

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2001-12-28 11:51 AM


She'll do it gracefully when it's just her and that candle and no soul in sight"

my favorite line but really the entire poem moved me greatly.  I see such a rich expression in your words and I love reading them.  Thank you for this!

I am/Kathleen/

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
8 posted 2001-12-29 10:36 PM


I have to agree with LngJhnAg, haunting! Well done!
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2001-12-29 10:58 PM




(smiles) Oh Saunni, this is soooooo hauntingly beautiful, sweet friend, your words always create an atmosphere that brings us into the world of others and sees their memories and dreams shine! (sigh) May her memories always live on, just as hope forever shines in her soul! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Saunni, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2001-12-29 11:17 PM


Saunni--Beautiful, sad, emotive writing.  Well done!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2001-12-30 12:19 PM


Absolutely beautiful....and so is the poem!

Amazing how much comfort we can find in our mind and memories or fantasies....often they are even better than the real thing! You paint a beautiful picture, miss

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
12 posted 2001-12-30 10:43 AM


Very romantic, I love it.
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