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Open Poetry #17
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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2001-12-26 11:09 PM


Go down to the cellar,
Be careful what you do,
The stairs are steep and narrow,
A nail will trip you too.

When you reach the bottom,
Reach out for the wall,
'Cause the cellar ain't got lights,
It's dark, no light at all.

Close the door behind you,
Breathe in dank, dark air,
Start your lightless journey,
Going here to there.

Feel out for the boxes,
They're strewn across the floor,
If you should trip across one,
Your shinbone will be sore.

When you feel a cobweb,
Brush against your face,
Turn and run back to the door,
Feel your heartbeat race.

Tripping, falling, in the dark,
Crawling on the floor,
In a state of panic,
'Til you find the door.

Climb up from the cellar,
Be careful what you do,
The stairs are steep and narrow,
A nail will trip you too.

[This message has been edited by Tim (12-26-2001 11:12 PM).]

© Copyright 2001 Tim - All Rights Reserved
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
1 posted 2001-12-26 11:18 PM


Oh my...this one gave me a chill....I do not like cellars....now I will have to lose myself in a fantasy because the vision of this poem came alive. Excellent writing. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2001-12-26 11:21 PM


gave me chills too, and a lot of bad memories

iambic-
I am/Kathleen

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2001-12-27 11:05 AM


Squealing in delight to see you here!

Wonderful flow, love the metaphor as well...and the cellar huh? (has that where you've been?) Gotta be careful in those deep dark recesses of mind, I've gotten stuck there a few times when the door slammed and locked behind me!  

Glad to see you, my friend!

came back to add, WONDERFUL TITLE!!!

[This message has been edited by serenity (12-27-2001 11:07 AM).]

Hypnosis
Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325
CO
4 posted 2001-12-27 11:20 AM


Doesn't seem like a very good feeling to be stuck down in the dark with unknown items strewn about the floor, however emotionally I have been in that very cellar.  Great post Tim!

     Randy Meador

a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2001-12-27 11:27 AM




(sigh) Oh my gosh, I know just how you feel, cellars too creep me out and this one brought me back some bad memories! (big hugggssssss) Soooooo well-expressed, sweet friend, your words are always so wonderfully descriptive and expressive! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Tim, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

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