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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2001-12-22 04:50 AM




Winter Pond


I rise up well before the winter haze
Has lifted off the surface of the pond
This is the most exquisite time of days
That only feathered flock innately knows
If snow will fall into a powdery glaze
Before the sun can penetrate the dawn

And so I sit and wait for early dawn
Still wrapped in midnights blanket, for the haze
On such a day as this will surely glaze
A silvery sheen of ice upon the pond
But only blue of blue jay surely knows
What lies ahead on this, the day of days

I have lived the better portion of my days
And never knew the coming of the dawn
For only speckled sparrow surely knows
What lies below the depth of misty haze
And I cannot decipher field and pond
Just nearby fence that’s wrapped in a sheet of glaze

My weary eyes are shrouded in a glaze
For I have reached the sunset of my days
But every morning sit and watch the pond
The sunset of today, tomorrow’s dawn
The future time is but an unknown haze
That only yellow wing of warbler knows

If he could somehow tell, the one who knows
If Christmas will be donned in silver glaze
The red of cardinal through the morning haze
Would speak to me on this, the day of days
Though light is slowly creeping through the dawn
Andsoon the mist will lift off road and pond

The seasons change upon a beaver pond
And only blue of blue jay surely knows
Before the night has given way to dawn
What life will bring beyond a morning glaze
If snow will whiten all in coming days
The mystery beneath the morning haze

Beyond the winter pond in sunset’s silvery glaze
As sure as starling knows the coming his days
I’d still be blind at dawn, until the lifting of the haze

Elizabeth Santos

© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-12-22 07:52 AM



Exquisite.  A Saturday morning enrapture...

thank you...

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
2 posted 2001-12-22 08:11 AM


A sestina is one of the most difficult poetic formats to compose... You've done a magnificent job, as you always do... Thank you for the warm smile, dear Liz...
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2001-12-22 11:21 AM


You are amazing, Elizabeth! Your talent knows no end! Beautifully done!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2001-12-22 03:37 PM


Thank you lady poets
And Nan, your smile makes me smile. You know how confusing these things can get
Thank you all
Liz

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-12-24 01:36 AM


Well blow me over with a feather!  Now if that was not the most beautiful sestina I ever read (and probably the first one I knew I read) LOL, whatever it is called, it was simply b-ooot-e-full.

~*~ The Very Best Of The Season To You And Yours ~*~

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
6 posted 2001-12-24 04:16 AM


Elizabeth,
I had never heard of a sestina...but yours has left me wanting more.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
7 posted 2001-12-24 04:19 AM


I couldn't highlight one particular section of this, Liz...the entire poem is fantastic!  And, I'm not too familiar with sestinas either, but it does look quite complicated!  Beautiful job!

sp     

And did you know with the rain in your pockets,
you can change the weather...

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
8 posted 2001-12-25 10:25 AM


Elizabeth,
I would be envious were it not that you so freely share your visions with us.Thank you.
Doc

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2001-12-25 11:55 AM




(smiles) Oh my gosh, this is soooooooo beautiful, I've never heard of a sestina, but I'm going to learn to write one like your breathtakingly beautiful one here! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! (big hugggsssss) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Elizabeth, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
10 posted 2001-12-25 03:02 PM


Oh Liz ... this was absolutely delightful. What a brilliant sestina ... bravo! Merry Christmas to you and yours, my sister of rhyme.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
11 posted 2001-12-25 03:19 PM


you are truly amazing when you write and leave us always in awe after reading, and this one is no exception. Beautiful....beautiful gem as always.

Merry Christmas

Charisma

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
12 posted 2001-12-26 02:39 AM



Liz-
  Wow...this is incredible, as are you!
  Just wonderful, my friend.
  Hugs,
  ~Vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
13 posted 2001-12-26 02:52 AM


Wow is all I can say.
Peaches

Glenn Logan
Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 111
Virginia
14 posted 2001-12-27 11:24 AM


Beautiful writing!  I loved much of this, and although the effort of creating this poem in such a formal and difficult pattern may have helped sharpen your imagery, I suspect you could make this still more effective by ignoring the formal structure and relying on your excellent ear and eye to use only as much formal structure as is truly needed to shelter the thoughts.

To me, a sestina (or a sonnet, for that matter) isn't Frost's net -- it's a cage that keeps the songbird sadly confined. And although your cage is very pretty, I'd love to see the caged bird sing more freely.

With all best wishes,

Glenn Logan

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
15 posted 2001-12-28 02:09 AM


Thank yoou, dear poets for your comments on this sestina,
and Glenn, I must agree with your remarks. Such structured verse dowsn't allow you to flap your wings. Its more of a puzzle than it is creative writing. It I worked on this piece I could improve on it, but i don'r have the patience.
THanks for your remarks
Liz

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