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Open Poetry #17
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mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814


0 posted 2001-12-21 08:54 PM









babble on, I


In the country of piety the statues slumber,
like so: zzzzzzz....snore.

Great though the streets of invention wore,
like needles of redemption, grace galore,
and suffering the narrows of veins, and more,
like so: whoosh! clank! tumble and tumbler,
were they humbled.

Yes.
At the barracks of tenderness, the ferns graze
in the recesses of scrutiny?
Revelry in the delta, in puzzles gaze?
Possibly.
Thus the tundra of desertion, gravity's maze
has things like houses, voices, and...um...
other stuff.

Makes sense:
The clarity of clouds, suffering veins,
mystery puddles, silence, and
histories, gardens, markets, and
such.

Obviously,
It was the lumber two by four.

The End

copyright 2001




Click here
to visit my home page.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (12-23-2001 06:19 AM).]

© Copyright 2001 mirror man - All Rights Reserved
RosePetal
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Member Elite
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985
South Florida
1 posted 2001-12-21 10:53 PM


very interesting write mirror man, I wish I could hear the music that goes along with it but we can't hear music anymore on here
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2001-12-21 11:00 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Such a wonderful expressive write, you always write so wonderfully! (sigh) This really had me thinking, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, dear friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

3 posted 2001-12-22 12:03 PM


RosePetal -- Yes, but you still have smileys (just don't overdo it, or the smiley police will take them away).  

Noah -- Oh, no!  Three smileys!  Thank you.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (12-22-2001 12:13 AM).]

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-12-22 06:15 PM


enjoyed, even though my speakers are down!

Kathleen (Kay)
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-12-22 09:21 PM


personally. . . I thought that it was the sparrows. . .

well done. . . the words here are definitely not a babble. . . they have a form. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
6 posted 2001-12-23 02:32 AM


Okay, I am going to go out on a limb here.  Is this about the industrial revolution...sort of?

The reference to the demise of the statues..i.e. like ancient greek stuff and then the reference to the two-by-four...an observation of the less permanent replacement of structures and art that we now create today?

Hey..if I am out there, then consider me comic relief!!!  Hee, hee!!!

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

7 posted 2001-12-23 05:56 AM


Irish Rose --  thank you.  You don't need speakers here any more; we're not allowed to post music.

Sven -- you could be right (ha, ha).  Thank you.

amusemi -- If you think you're out on a limb, it's probably because I'm out there too; this is total deconstruction to me.  But it was fun.  I'm glad you liked it.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (12-23-2001 06:12 AM).]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2001-12-23 07:36 AM


mirror man,
if this is babel you should build a tower to it.
Write on
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2001-12-23 08:08 AM


A wonderful use of language and phrasing MirrorMan ... I enjoyed the images and sounds this brought to my mind.

Best wishes,
/Kit

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

10 posted 2001-12-24 08:33 PM


Kethry -- then I will continue to babble on.  Thank you.

Kit -- thank you.  And Merry Christmas to you also.

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
11 posted 2001-12-24 09:38 PM


nicely done--enjoyed

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
12 posted 2001-12-25 12:28 PM


maybe it's just your secret love of wooden
structures that got you to create this imagery?? Nicely said.


mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

13 posted 2001-12-27 03:14 AM


Jamie -- thank you.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.

ecrivan -- Yes, I do like wooden structures.  But I honestly don't know what this means; if I didn't remember writing it, I wouldn't own it.  To me, this reads like a pile of junk.  I didn't mean to confuse anyone, and I'll watch for this sort of thing in the future.  Thank you.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (12-27-2001 03:17 AM).]

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