»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #17
»
The Non Sequitur Romance
| Open Poetry #17 |
|
The Non Sequitur Romance |
|
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
|
The Non Sequitur Romance Come, shh, let us eavesdrop, take a chance to see this strange world of romance. Let us listen as a bizarre story unfolds, it may drip pearls of wisdom, ribbons of gold. “Come, my darling, come ride along with me, for I must leave to adventure the sea.” “Oh heavens, my hair’s mussed, and you would ride to see if yon moon has thus turned the tide.” “No, my love, for I must leave at first light, so come to me now, spend one last good night.” “Going somewhere? Before you leave, bring some tea? and maybe a crumpet, I’m starving, you see.” “No, dear, no, I’m the one to be away to sea and I’ll miss you ever much, no longer by me.” “Oh, silly man, of course, I love you so, I’ll pray you’ll return before you even go.” Nuances, inflections, deep from the heart, a word here, thought there, but they’re not apart, for he has an adventure, she’ll be left alone. If she were to answer him, she’d softly moan, “Come my darling, I’ll ride along with thee, see you safely on your first adventure to sea, for you must leave at dawn’s early light, taking with you my love, away from sight.” So while she dances around the words he’d say, she’s wishing only for one more tangible day for them to be together in love’s great romance, all that keeps her sane is the non sequitur dance. ©KRJ 29 August, 1999 revised 20 December 2001 |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, Alarmingly beautiful. This is a pleasant surprise. *L* |
||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now you know I am smiling ear to ear, but it completely has thrown out the order of the day you realize - for this will be first! I shall tell you what they had to say! By far, this is my favorite of yours now most definitely. (are you familiar with Wings of Silver, Bells of Gold). ~*~ The Very Best Of The Season To You And Yours ~*~ |
||
|
Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
The dialogue was handled very well, the story was entertaining and I especially enjoyed the last stanza. |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Ah... Coffee, tea, and thee... sounds like something Non Sequitur to me...  |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
This is excellent, Karilea. The way you wove in the seeming non sequiturs gave me a terrific glimpse of what it is that a woman says when it seems she says nothing at all. This is beautiful, Karilea. A keeper, just like you. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
it may drip pearls of wisdom, ribbons of gold. “Come, my darling, come ride along with me, for I must leave to adventure the sea.” “Oh heavens, my hair’s mussed, and you would ride to see if yon moon has thus turned the tide.” ======================================== you are right... it did drip of pearls of wisdom, ribbons of gold.  he would have stayed had it been raspberry tea *wink* *L* You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do. |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
What a great story. You did this beautifully. Sandra |
||
|
Zukene_Chic Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 152Cali |
“Going somewhere? Before you leave, bring some tea? and maybe a crumpet, I’m starving, you see.” “No, dear, no, I’m the one to be away to sea and I’ll miss you ever much, no longer by me.” Gosh, that was adorable. And pretty, and amazingly beuatiful, and everything else that I can think of... and other stuff that I cant. |
||
|
Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
This is realy beautiful, glad I caught it Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I needed some morning sun.  You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do. |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
well, I tell you what. This really read beautifully, unfolded like a fine romantic interlude. I love this!!!!! iambic- |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Karilea, this is soooooo lovely, your beautiful words always weave such interludes of sheer romance! (sigh) I too enjoyed this vision so very much! (kiss on cheek) I love it, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sunshine, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea--IWIHWT!! It's wonderful! |
||
|
Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Beautiful. I love the way you've written this story. Glad I didn't miss this one. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karilea- This is so beautiful...I love it. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
