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Open Poetry #17
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Son Netier
Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116
The Garden State

0 posted 2001-12-20 07:39 AM


The soft whistle of the teapot calling,
Water is now ready to pour for brew,
Window panes frost the temperature’s falling,
The steam rises as I make tea for two.

I carry carefully trying to glide,
To where you’re there reading another book,
You smile to me with love that can not hide,
Wordless all things are said with just a look.

This sweet unsaid is a comfort to know,
It fills my heart and mind with it’s being,
Gentle are these soft times where love does show,
Held close yet still with a sense of freeing.

Touching my arm she first gives me her lips,
Then tastes the sweetness of loving in sips.

Bill


© Copyright 2001 Bill Shivers - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-12-20 07:50 AM


Well you've just rhymed contentment in this lovely romantic moment captured in verse.
How nice to share this closeness with someone. Wonderful cadence, a treat to read aloud.
Well done poet Son
I hope its raspberry tea *L*

You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do.
Thats the way love is ... sky blue and black.


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
2 posted 2001-12-20 08:00 AM


'This sweet unsaid is a comfort to know'

WOW...

Regards,
Sudhir

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2001-12-20 08:05 AM


I'm really enjoying your smiling posts each morning, Netier...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2001-12-20 08:54 AM


Bill, this is lovely...very romantic in a subtle way.  Enjoyed this with my tea this morning.  
~Hugs, Nancy~

*~ Wishing you all a magical Christmas ~*

Son Netier
Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116
The Garden State
5 posted 2001-12-20 09:30 AM


Janet,
I was just a nice green tea, I like my Iced tea Raspberry
Sudhir,
Sometimes the nicest thing said don’t make a sound
Nan,
Well I must do something over my morning tea, why not write.  Speaking of which, when are you gonna post another?  I look forward to yours too.
Nancy,
That is romance, subtle things,  that’s why holding the door or chair is a romance, it’s a kindness between two that isn’t said out loud.  What good would it be if you had to ask for those little things.

Bill

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

6 posted 2001-12-20 09:48 AM


loved it..as i sit here drinking my coffee..ha...looking forward to reading more from you

                            ~Victoria~

Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

                                            Pablo Picasso


Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA
7 posted 2001-12-20 10:38 AM



As a tea cup collector,
this filled me to the
brim!

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
8 posted 2001-12-20 10:41 AM


I found the rhyme to be handled very well and enjoyed the read.
His Poet
Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750

9 posted 2001-12-20 12:19 PM


A delight to read, as it flowed like honey. Such sweetness in words. Cheryl
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
10 posted 2001-12-20 12:52 PM


Dear Bill,
I liked this one. I love sonnets in all their forms. One thing, You have 'gentle are these soft times where love does show'. The 'does show' seems like you're trying too hard for the meter. How about something like 'when love is shown'? In the rhyming line above you could adjust something like ' This sweet unsaid is wondrous comfort known'.
This is just a suggestion.

Nan

Son Netier
Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116
The Garden State
11 posted 2001-12-20 01:44 PM


Victoria,
I’ll try to keep them coming, maybe next for the coffee drinkers
Soliel Noir,
Move careful then don’t want you spill any, but sip some and I’ll try to refill as often as my poetic teapot allows.
Opeth,
Your words are like sweet cookies to go with my tea.
His Poet,
When sweet sights are in the mind it’s like honey in the comb.
Pilgrimage,
Thanks for the suggestion, being new to writing means a touch of roughness, thanks for the buff.

Bill

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