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Open Poetry #17
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kaile
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since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-12-18 03:25 AM


I stood beside you
preparing the drinks
while you complained about
how i shouldn't splash
soap foams
all over you

I grinned, embarrassed
and watched you
take down
customers' orders
with a smile
and wide eager eyes

Then I frantically
tried to wash the cups
(which had been stacked real high)
while you pacified
grumpy hollering fools
who were impossible to satisfy
with a steady disposition
and well worded explanations

Later on
while the fools were eating,
you took a drink,
teased me
about how slow i washed the cups
and stated matter-of-factly
that you hated the job

My admiration rose
for a colleague
who did her job well
undercover

© Copyright 2001 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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Gaia
1 posted 2001-12-18 03:42 AM


LOL, at your "undercover colleague." It is amazing how some people can smile and serve and be polite to fools. This reminded me of a story from a friend in England, who waited on tables for some rich snobby people the week after Sept 11, and they spent their time complaining about how the siverware didn't match, and the tablesetting was less than fresh. Imagine the shallowness.
Very good poem, faterider.

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

2 posted 2001-12-18 11:59 AM



Very well done...I couldn't have said it better than as has been said above...

dgvarner
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since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
3 posted 2001-12-18 12:34 PM


KAILE..i enjoyed this story telling...   i like the way youve written it as if a narrator watching the scene, as well as being part of it..does that make sense??  lol  

anyway..i like it.. !  and it IS amazing how some people can do a job so well that youd never know they hated their job...wish i were more like that...

hugs, g

~dgvarner/fallen rain~

"tomorrow's another day, and i'm thirsty anyway--so bring on the rain!"

RosePetal
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since 2001-08-26
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South Florida
4 posted 2001-12-18 12:38 PM


I like it too! very cleaver writing!
Opeth
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since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
5 posted 2001-12-18 01:20 PM


I believe this to be an excellent FV.
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2001-12-18 01:25 PM


(smiles) I have to echo RosePetal and Dgvarner's words, your words are excellent and you write as though we feel we're part of the scene at the sink! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is a true classic! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

kaile
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since 2000-02-06
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singapore
7 posted 2001-12-18 08:16 PM


thank you for sharing that story, Midnitesun..it never ceases to amaze me too just how spolit brats some people are, regardless of their ages...

Decaflame, thank you for the nod of approval

gale, yes, you make sense(finally!) ..that makes two of us, i guess..but we have next year to redeem ourselves, yes?

RosePetal, thanks! i don't think i am clever, though. ha!

Mistletoe Angel, i hope the scene at the sink was one which you enjoyed..thanks for the "true classic" compliment..

thanx all

Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-12-18 11:11 PM


I like this faterider. . . it's a great show of a piece of life. . .

the style is all your own. . . it's one that works for you. . . where you are, as dg said, both narrator and participant. . .

great job. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

9 posted 2001-12-18 11:41 PM


A micro-storypoem.  Nicely done.  These are fun to do and fun to read.  Thanks.
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