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Open Poetry #17
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Untitled/Any Suggestions?
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Untitled/Any Suggestions? |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
Can you see the tears falling down my cheek? Can you hear my words, even though I don't speak? Is it hard to see me for who I am? Is it so hard for you to understand? I'm not the prettiest woman in the world. Sometimes I still act like a little girl. Can you not see how I love you so? Can you not feel my pain when I see you go? Is it too much to ask for you to see me? And all of the possibilities that I can be. I don't ask for much, just a little of you. Just be there to hold me when I'm feeling blue. For even though you can't see me for the woman I am. I will shine bright as a star, the best that I can. Peaches |
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| © Copyright 2001 peaches73533 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Oh Peaches, this is such a sa dbut beautiful declaration of love! (sigh) I pray with all my heart that he may hear your cry of loving affection and he can love you for who you are like you deserve to! (smiles) My heart is with you, sweet friend, I have faith that he can hear your message soon! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet Peaches, your words are always a delight to read! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Shadowed_Innersense Junior Member
since 2001-12-05
Posts 49somewhere at the edge |
Quite touching ... a moment of reaching. How about "A LITTLE OF ME" or "JUST A LITTLE". "A HEARTS REQUEST" works too. Hope you find your answers. |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
...how about, "In The Can"...? This title could have multiple levels to it for those willing to discover them.  -MVS "Your focus determines your reality." --Qui-Gon from The Phantom Menace |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Those that love us will accept us as we are in happiness and admiration...I suggest the title..."Loving You". James |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
How about "Can You Not See....Or Can You? And I got to talking to my wife and forgot to say that I thought this is sad...but you are certainly expressing feelings...and that is GOOD...very good. [This message has been edited by Magnus (edited 12-16-2001).] |
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thepoeticplumber Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 185 |
Wonderful poem. I think it should be called -I Love You So - It is a story of love you tell. Roger |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Peaches, I like "A Heart's Request" alot. But somebody has to be pretty blind to not see. Great write!  |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
I think the simple words "Can you...?" would encompass all that you ask in this piece, and the title would then leave the reader hanging... I feel very much this same way...it was like hearing my own heart...when it's not snoring! |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
I agree with those who are suggesting "Can You" it says it all very clearly. Well done. **hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
I also love the title "Can You Not See?". I think it wonderfully imposes your emotions and feelings toward the reader! (smiles) I love your poem, sweet friend, just had to read it again to judge a title for it! (kiss on cheek) Love, Noah Eaton |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
Noah:Thanks.You always know just what to say. Shadowed Innersense:Thank you.Hope I do too. Mark:Thanks for the input. James:You always have good suggestions. Magnus:Thank you so much.Expressing is better than keeping it bottled up. Poetciplumber;Thanks alot. LarryC:Thank you as always. amusemi:Sorry to wake your heart with this.Wish it could have been a happier one. Startime:Thanks.Your response means alot. Noah:Thanks so much.Twice,hmmm makes me feel a little special.:blushing:kiss on the cheek. Thank you all for the suggestions. Peaches |
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