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Balladeer
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0 posted 2001-12-13 10:13 PM



     
.
(to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
.
     
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better get drapes
I'm telling you why
Long John's out there lurking around.

He'll see you when you're waking
And then  when you’re  asleep
He'll see you when you're getting dressed
'Cause Long John loves to peep!

So...

Keep the lights out
Keep the doors locked
There is no doubt
He's probably crocked
Long John's out there lurking around.
.
     
     
.
.
(to the tune of Frosty the Snowman)
.


Long John the sailor
Was a Bluebeard through and through
Women lived in fear
To see him come near
With that mirror in his shoe!
Long John the sailor
Was a hiney-grabbing lout
Ladies never knew
What that man might do
Every time that he was out.

He must have been
So full of gin
He couldn't help himself
But girls would hear
When he came near..
"Hey! You wanna touch my elf?!"

OH..

Long John the sailor
Wont be too long for this life
There will come a day
When our boy will say
Something wrong to some man's wife.
.

     
.
     
.
(to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
.
     
.

Long John the drunken sailor
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would throw up,  I suppose.

All of the guys at Rudolph's
Watched him down three quarts a day,
Spent  nights completely wasted
Chasing all the girls away.

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Vice cops came to say
"Long John,  with your razzmatazz
Say hello to Alcatraz.
There all the inmates loved him
As they shouted out with glee
"Long John, the drunken sailor,
You're as cute as you can be!"
.
     

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 12-13-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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1 posted 2001-12-13 10:20 PM


Baladeer....these are tooooo much....I liked
all of them...Poor Long John....Surely he
can't take this thrashing much longer...

Mistletoe Angel
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2 posted 2001-12-13 10:22 PM




(giggles wickedly) Oh my gosh, this is soooooooo creative and hilarious, you're killing me, sweet friend! (smiles) That mischievious little Christmas imp! (smiles) Watch out, for he is always a'peeping and drinking! Such a wonderful Christmas poem from your heart, you always amaze me with your beautiful words! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, we all wish you thr happiest holidays! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Hypnosis
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since 2001-12-02
Posts 325
CO
3 posted 2001-12-13 10:22 PM


I thought this was very funny and creative, I loved all the tunes!  You should try to come up with some more, you are very talented at it!lol

      Randy Meador

a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living.

Honeybee
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since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
4 posted 2001-12-13 10:35 PM



You lil'   you! You had me in stitches! I love these~  

take care cutie patootie,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2001-12-13 10:39 PM


Balladeer!  Now I think you may have gone and done it!  
LOL...This is just too clever!
But, perhaps I should take heed at what you say
about ol Long John, since he and I have never met.
Best I stay on this side of the border... where I'm safe from him, ya think?
Sooooo well done Michael!
*Happy Holidays to you and yours*
Hugs, and look out for the mistletoe! Nancy  

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..."

Mysteria
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6 posted 2001-12-13 10:40 PM


You know if I didn't know better I would swear you were the offspring of Hans Christian Andersen    Not only were these the cutest, creative little songs I think I have ever sung, but I couldn't make it thorough one without getting the giggles.  You got him this time that is for sure    Merry Christmas to you and yours Michael, and thank you for just being you and sharing your creativity with everyone.

~*~  May the spirit of this season live in your heart all year through ~*~


Sunshine
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7 posted 2001-12-14 08:45 AM



You are SO wicked!  Uhm, these will become a Classic repost, but seasonally, I'm sure?

Nan
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8 posted 2001-12-14 08:51 AM


Your quite a Christmas Rogue yourself, my deer friend...
2dalimit
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since 2000-02-08
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Mississippi coast
9 posted 2001-12-14 09:04 AM


Ho Ho Ho
Thanks for the smile
And the hearty bliss
But, LngJhn may put you
On his kitty-kickin list

Melton

Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2001-12-14 09:14 AM


Hey, I can avow this, didn't I get caught between a kiss? Well done Balladeer.
Marge Tindal
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11 posted 2001-12-14 09:35 AM


Balladeer~
You've sent me into fits of *giggles*
What a creatively comedic write ...

LOL ... Want me to post 'my' -
"My God, Marge - it's a CHRISTMAS CAROL" one ? Tee-Hee~

Love n' hugs to you~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
       noles1@totcon.com                  

Poet deVine
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12 posted 2001-12-14 09:40 AM


AH! Tis the season to poke fun at the pirate? Loved this sir..and I'm sure he will also - could you make a recording so we can hear you sing them?
PhaerieChild
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since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
13 posted 2001-12-14 09:56 AM


These were so funny and creative....thanks for the giggles and Happy Holidays to you and yours. Huggles....Shawna

How can you save me?
When the dark comes right in and takes me,
from my front walk and into bed,
where it kisses my face and eats my head. Shivaree

SmartChick
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since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
14 posted 2001-12-14 10:51 AM


LOL! You are so creative, Balladeer. I just love this. I wish you a wonderful christmas. May all your wishes and dreams come true.

              
                

rosepetals25
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15 posted 2001-12-14 11:15 AM


Balladeer,

     You are sooooooooo creative. I love this .. thank you for making me laugh .. again.   This was muchly enjoyed

Hugs,
Tara

"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
     - Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

sodpossom
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since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
16 posted 2001-12-14 11:19 AM


I will never sing them Christmas songs the same again.Very clever and humorous!
Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

17 posted 2001-12-14 01:14 PM


I'm trying to bah humbug my way through the season but you and Titia keep making me smile.
Your wit and talent are without measure, Balladeer.  Thanks for everthing you share with us (and for focusing your aim so accurately on LongJohn...would hate to get caught in any crossfire).

Corinne
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state of confusion
18 posted 2001-12-14 01:39 PM


This is too funny, especially the mooning snowman!

Cor

suthern
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19 posted 2001-12-14 03:36 PM


Oh, Deer One... Whatcha trying to do... get me fired??? *G* I had to fake a coughing fit to cover my unladylike snorts of laughter!!! I don't know which one I like best... I just know I'll be singing these 3 classics all weekend... so if I burn my Christmas baking (or my fingers) cause I'm howling laughing, it's your fault! LOL

   This one isn't just for Christmas... it's for anytime I need a grin. *S*

doreen peri
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since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
20 posted 2001-12-14 05:20 PM


so THAT's who that was outside my window!!!! or was it?  

funny stuff my 'deer!!  

merry christmas!

Pilgrimage
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since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
21 posted 2001-12-14 06:14 PM


Dear 'deer,
I shouldn't encourage this kind of behaviour, I'm sure. But this is great! I loved them all.      

Nan

Startime
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Posts 5918
Canada
22 posted 2001-12-14 09:49 PM


HOW ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL ARE THESE WONDERFULL POEMS. YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOUR TALENT.  

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Balladeer
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23 posted 2001-12-15 02:10 AM


hehehe....thank you all! It's always rewarding to have a little fun at Long John's expense...and to have you all get a chuckle out of it make it even more so.   Happy holidays to you all!!  
Marsha
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24 posted 2001-12-15 08:57 AM


'Deer dear heart, This is absolutely hilarious. Thank you Thank you Thank you, this had me giggling sooooooooooooo much. YOU really are the cream of the crop. Absolutely excellent

Truly Outstanding

      
I wish there was a smilie for laughing my self into a fit
Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy  
      

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


Charisma
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25 posted 2001-12-15 10:02 AM


whoooooohooooooooooo Balladeer you are the BEST.......oh no I mean the CUTEST.....or is it the most FABULOUS Poet, well I think you are all....Great and wonderful songs you wrote here...


Merry Christmas you too dear "DEER"
(((Hugs))
Charisma

~*Theresia~*  

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
26 posted 2001-12-15 07:48 PM


How could I ever almost overlooked this one!!!

Now I'm giggling all night long

Oh Dear Oh Deer Oh Dear Oh Deer
am I glad I found you here

HUGS, Titia  

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Want to use the pics on my website? Just let me know. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace

Kit McCallum
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27 posted 2001-12-16 10:46 AM


ROFL ... Consider this funny bone tickled. You kept to the tunes beautifully, thanks for the grins Michael!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

rwood
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since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
28 posted 2001-12-16 11:17 AM


I have copied and sent the Snow Mooner to many kooky appreciative friends. You are a snowball of fun!!! The line about LJn showing his elf was too funny. "Santa's Lil Helper" was brought to mind. LOL!

Love, Peace and Joy!

Sincerely,
Regina

Dulcinea
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since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
29 posted 2001-12-16 11:30 AM


Well, and a VERY MERRY Christmas to you too! I really enjoyed these...thank you for this big smile.  
Larry C
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30 posted 2001-12-16 11:39 PM


Balladeer,
Knew I'd love this so waited to give it a bump. Had to sing these to my wife. Great holiday fun! I suppose that drunken sailor is somewhere stuck in a snow bank...

Larry C
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31 posted 2001-12-19 12:39 PM


"bump"
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