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Open Poetry #17
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Jeffrey E. Osborne
Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160
out there

0 posted 2001-12-13 06:18 PM


     Ok, y'all, this is truly scary poetry! (lol) I found this collecting dust in an old box in the attic. This is the very first poem I wrote, not counting assignments for school. I must have been all of twelve (boy, do I feel old! lol) I wrote this about my first real girlfriend, Sandy McKitrick. Her and I were truly opposites and none of our friends could understand what we saw each in each other. This poem was written in response to that opinion. (be gentle - I was a fledgling writer just trying out my new wings lol)
----------------------------------------------------


Look at us now
Are we getting older or younger?
What I see in the mirror
doesn't match what the rest of the world sees
But you see me
And that's all that matters

Look at us now
Hey, don't we look neat together?
Let the rest of the world
think we're strange as three-dollar bills
We see each other
And that's all that matters

Look at us now
Living out our private daydreams
Who is to say that dreams
only exist in the minds of children?
We see our dreams
And that's all that matters

So look at us in fifty years
When you've gotten older and grayer
And ask yourself
what you think you see in our childish smiles?
Because we'll still see each other
And y'all better ask each other
Isn't that what truly matters?

Simple words but full of a message
And that's all that matters


"people say I should learn some self-control, but I just want to exorcise my soul"

© Copyright 2001 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2001-12-13 10:07 PM


12???? Dang, I don't know many folks that can write this good at 12!! This is really sweet   Thank you for sharing this with us  
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2001-12-13 10:12 PM




CLAPPING WILDLY!!! 12??? I JUST HAD TO ECHO SUSAN'S COMMENT, THIS IS INCREDIBLE TALENT!!! (smiles) THIS IS A MUST-KEEPER!!! I LOVE IT!!! (sigh) May her sweet love forever shine in your golden heart! I love it, sweet friend, you are full of such miraculous wonderful suprises! (big hugggssssss) You have suhc a beautiful heart, sweet Jeffrey, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Hypnosis
Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325
CO
3 posted 2001-12-13 10:13 PM


Oh my goodness, this poem is excellent for writing it as a 12 year old.  I like the thoughtfullness in your heart.  No one can really explain love, but they can experience it.  Nice!

      Randy Meador

a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living.

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
4 posted 2001-12-13 10:18 PM


12...did you say??  not even, perhaps...uh..14, 15..??  

wow..great write even at your current age...awesome for a 12 yr old....

glad you dusted it off  

hugs, g

~dgvarner/fallen rain~

"tomorrow's another day, and i'm thirsty anyway--so bring on the rain!"

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2001-12-13 10:27 PM


Thanks for sharing this one!
But....12??? WOW!
Excellent writing even for an older person.
~hugs, Nancy~  

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..."

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
6 posted 2001-12-13 10:39 PM


Hello Jeffrey
I thought this was a great tribute to your friendship and such a fun piece of writing.  I'll look forward to reading more of your work.  Take care.......Sue

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-12-13 10:58 PM


no way you were 12 here Jeff. . . heck, I didn't really start writing like this until I was 19. . .and I still wasn't this good. . .

how about dusting some more of the old stuff off eh??  

--------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Jeffrey E. Osborne
Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160
out there
8 posted 2001-12-13 11:57 PM


Thank you everyone for your beautiful comments. And yes, I was only 12 when I wrote this although I was probably closer to 13 as this was written after the beginning of a new school year and my birthday is in November. Irregardless, I couldn't have been older than 15 as Sandy and I "dated" until I moved out of Florida in June of 1983. I'm pleasantly surprised that y'all see such "talent" in this poem as I see it as overly simple and lacking any real structure or form. Looking at my own writings, I admit I can be overly critical but I also seem to go through phases when it comes to how technically proficient my use of words and how adequately I express my emotions. I would have thought this poem to be a "low" point for me (lol) Again, I must bow deeply and offer my most heartfelt thanks.

                        - Jeff

"people say I should learn some self-control, but I just want to exorcise my soul"

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