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Open Poetry #17
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Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston

0 posted 2001-12-13 05:13 PM


You are there, here with me.
Just your voice gives my heart wing.
This seems to be our destiny.
Together's such a simple thing.

Just your voice gives my heart wing.
I see your face in memory's frame.
Together's such a simple thing.
My lips can only kiss your name.

I see your face in memory's frame.
The miles that part us seem to grow.
My lips can only kiss your name.
Your loves the only peace I know.

The miles that part us seem to grow.
Just moments seem to be too much.
Your loves the only peace I know.
Return to me, I miss your touch.

Just moments seem to be too much.
This seems to be our destiny.
Return to me, I miss your touch.
You are there, here with me.

I think its supposed to have 6 stanza's but I dont remember.. someone let me know

Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.


© Copyright 2001 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2001-12-13 05:19 PM




BRAVO!!! I LOVE IT!!! (smiles) Oh Lucie, your challenge poem is beautiful, I love it!!! (big hugggsssss) You were allowed to use as many stanzas as you wanted, this is perfect! (sigh) You are soooooooo romantic, sweet friend, we all love you so very much! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lucie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-12-13 05:20 PM



The challenge was the phrase itself, no matter how it was done, like this, which was wonderful!  Lady is going to be so pleased!

Lady In White
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
3 posted 2001-12-13 06:05 PM



Lucie, I like your serious side.  I hope to see more of it.  You took this, my girl, and you did it up right proud.  Thank you for taking it on...it's a Keeper...

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2001-12-14 02:57 PM


My lips can only kiss your name.

This is lovely, Lucie... what a beautiful expression of lonely/longing. I wouldn't think of laughing... unless I try to sing the chord it strikes within me. *S*

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
5 posted 2001-12-14 03:01 PM


BRAVO!!!!!STANDING OVATION!!!This poem brings a smile of pride to the face not laughter. Absolutely stunning. I LOVE IT!!!**hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
6 posted 2001-12-14 06:04 PM


Wow! You did it. You did the challenge. And, did it very well, too.
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
7 posted 2001-12-14 06:22 PM


Dear Lucie,
I liked this. Pantoums hypnotize me and I just keep reading them over and over. I've no idea how many stanzas it's supposed to have, I think there are different forms so it varies.

Nan

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
8 posted 2001-12-14 09:59 PM


Lucie,

    There is definately no reason to laugh It was wonderful! You right serious subjects as well as you do humor  

Hugs,
Tara

"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
     - Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2001-12-14 10:21 PM


Lucie...this is incredible!  You write seriously very well.  And, this is lovely...a challenge well met!
~hugs, Nancy~  

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..."

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2001-12-14 10:24 PM


Lucie, this is a wonderful addition to the challenges list of fine poetic gems. Proof once again that Lucie can write about anything and give us a treat.  
Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
11 posted 2001-12-15 03:46 AM


Thank you all for your reply's I was honored to be a part of this challenge.. it was a incredible inspiration. I look forward to other challenges that expand my mind and my poetic abilities..

(Whispers softly)..................see Mama, I am a poet.  

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
12 posted 2001-12-15 10:42 PM


Wowzers Lucie, you truly do serious well!  What an emotional write, congratulations, you did it alright!

~*~  May the spirit of this season live in your heart all year through ~*~


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