Completely loving this, Serenity. VERY impressive flow and syllable organization, rhyme scheme... very sound poem.
Just one thing... the flow is such a strong part of this poem, and the rhymes, small space between them. I have to comment on the word "without." You use it as "WITH/out" which is fine, but the reader might tend to go with "with/OUT" which trips the meter up. I thought "AND/not" would sound better than "WITH/out" here.
"Vine" doesn't rhyme with anything, nor "Child." It doesn't hurt but I noticed it. They might need to be grouped perhaps?
Other than that, the last stanza? Absolutely perfect, Serenity. Just one stitch again with the meter. "he is" is "he/IS" in your scheme, but might be read as "HE/IS" or "HE/is" in some eyes. I almost don't want to mention this, but you could make it more airtight.
It's hardly necessary though. This has to be one of my favourite poems by you, it just flows and conveys a very effective message within.
Excellent work, Serenity. You've impressed me once more.
I forgot to mention that I love the double-rhyming "sadness" and "madness."
The end is perfect too...
Quite the storyteller you are, witch-lady.
Oh and forgive me, I guess it wasn't just "one thing" after all... LOL...
"I know it's nice to be known - It caresses your ego - but the society cost is terrible."
[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 12-07-2001).]