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Open Poetry #17
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2001-12-05 02:43 AM




This season
warm morning
ever promising
to stay another day
yet lovers fall
around me
not so easily
as the leaves
before evening even
settles into chill
no carpet made
no hiding place
no reds, no golds
to rake away
this is a lovers fall
and they do not go quietly


© Copyright 2001 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2001-12-05 02:59 AM


Duncan,
are you talking leaves? I would agree they do not go quietly at all, all that rustling ans shooshing.  
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
2 posted 2001-12-05 07:39 AM


Great metaphor Duncan, I like this. You already know my thoughts on it. Don’t they just give you an earache when they don’t go quietly huh? And no volume button either!!! Lol

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
3 posted 2001-12-05 07:41 AM


Love hurts and love doesn't just end. First it drains us, then it withers away. We fall easily in love, but it's a hard fall when we fall out of love. I like this one, Duncan. And get some sleep man!  
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
4 posted 2001-12-05 08:11 AM


Yes this is the story of my love life. It's hard to go quietly when so much emotion is involved.
Good write, Duncan.
Sandra

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-12-05 09:44 AM


I like this very much...
peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
6 posted 2001-12-05 10:46 AM


Duncan,
I love the metaphors you use here.We seem to fall in love so easy, only if it was as easy t fall out of love.Sorry for these noisy people.
Peaches

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2001-12-05 10:52 AM


the last line is haunting...

almost a shade of Dylan Thomas "Do not go gentle into that good night,"
I love poetry that reminds me of the classics, gosh I feel a villanelle coming on!!!

Kathleen (Kay)
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2001-12-15 12:56 PM


bump, it's so beautiful, I read it again...

Kathleen (Kay)
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

rebekah33
Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 140
MD/NJ
9 posted 2001-12-15 01:28 AM


How I agree!!!!  Someyimes i wish ending a relationship was as cut and dry as raking the leaves, bagging them and thats the end of it.  But then again I wouldn't be so inspired    Thanks for this wonderful poem!
-R.

"So stop and love and dance and live and laugh until you cry" Edwin McCain

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2001-12-15 01:35 AM


Lovers and leaves that don't go quietly. Very interesting thoughts here, Duncan. I prefer the quiet, graceful departures. Too bad it doesn't always happen that way.
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

11 posted 2001-12-15 02:18 AM


sighhhhhhhh...
A great write PoetFriend
*~coco~*

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
12 posted 2001-12-15 12:31 PM


Enjoyed, Duncan!
I didn't read all the comments, but I whole-heartedly agree with Walker's assessment!! Though I don't know how much sleep you're getting, grin.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2001-12-15 12:58 PM



(sad sigh) Oh Duncan, this is so very sad; lovers can fall in love easily but falling out of love is just as easy. (sigh) As long as we believe in our hearts and have hope shine, we are all destined to find true love! (big hugggssssss) So sad but beautiful, sweet friend, we all love you so very much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
14 posted 2001-12-15 01:02 PM


*sigh* this made me think of Lovers Winter....cold outside but inside where two cuddle together a special heat is generated. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Robert A
Member
since 2001-10-29
Posts 174

15 posted 2001-12-18 10:18 AM


now I wish I could write words that come down the page like this


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