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Open Poetry #17
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even now
| Open Poetry #17 |
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even now |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Even now, she challenged me darkness drift of my instinct-- heal to toe and foot to foot sensitive to upraised root blind I walk without a path where no one's tred and knee-high grass grows tickling upon my thigh like the bedtime wonder-why's... Even now the baby cries-- I cannot find her--baby hides-- screaming rage of blue faced death I recognize my lack of breath I listen to the scream of drone and hear the voice--it is my own I cannot stand another cry and so I sing, my lullabye... Even now, the child grows brave crossing hill with stones of grave fingers etching her own name neatly chiseled, not the same for where her name should aptly be-- her father---mother? now deceased... And once the riverbed was dry until it filled with tears she cried. Even now, the ice is steep her chill of heart turned tears to sleet. flakes of snow, each falls unique. She scrapes the stone clear with her sleeve. Forest echoes memories and laughter rustles through new leaves. Winter's frost melts into slime--- she kisses stone and says goodbye. Even now, she finds the stream of winter's ice of melted dreams... breaking branches in her way (an easy path she leaves and prays.) "May all who walk this way, ye keep, and weep no more than one should weep." And through the branches she spies light... through tears, she finds an end in sight. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
This one's deep, this one's very deep. I'm going to print this off and get back to you. So much to ponder on. You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Exquisite. And so the time of healing has arrived. "May all who walk this way, ye keep, and weep no more than one should weep." And through the branches she spies light... through tears, she finds an end in sight." An absolutely perfect ending that leads to a new beginning. This flows smoothly, a gentle stream over life's pebbles and stones. May those souls rest in peace, and may your heart stay peaceful and serene. You chose your name well. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
no more pizza and beer before bed there Serenity  wow, yes, many levels to this. I can't even begin to touch it. So I'll just say, very cool |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
even now the winter's ice can't thaw - the beauty in your verse, i'm awed, in strike of type on board, with everything you give, afford! there's snows that drifts in lines you write and even as the light dims night it's even keeled in blend of rhyme again again again this time! and even now, my whispered voice bids you goodnight, the curtain's choice to close the day with one more bow.... as even now, your words avow the inner search within your soul! i wish you peace as nightlights hold you in their arms and until day has dawned to offer full array of color on a distant screen..... i wish you peace complete... serene [This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 11-28-2001).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
fantastic writing, O Serene One... I sit on my chair of wonder thinking of the depths you render by the writing of this write and the wordings of these words... Regards, Sudhir P.S. and I enjoyed Doreen's response too... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Even now, the ice is steep her chill of heart turned tears to sleet. flakes of snow, each falls unique. She scrapes the stone clear with her sleeve. Forest echoes memories and laughter rustles through new leaves. Winter's frost melts into slime--- she kisses stone and says goodbye. Even now, she finds the stream of winter's ice of melted dreams... breaking branches in her way (an easy path she leaves and prays.) "May all who walk this way, ye keep, and weep no more than one should weep." And through the branches she spies light... through tears, she finds an end in sight. ======================================== Im with Dor in the awe department ... so much to worship here... the pure poetry in motion of your rhyme's consistantcy...the masterful working of the metaphors...the imagery is done to vivid clarity....and the emotions rise off the page till they touch the reader on the cheek. yeah....awesome is a good place to start. heart-hugs me twin write it out baby...love ya KA me he said ... "dont cry" ... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks all...sometimes my writing takes me places I don't expect and don't necessarily even care to go. This was one of those times. I thank you all for caring, and reading. HUGS, and gratitude. |
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