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Open Poetry #17
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the rhyme of two
| Open Poetry #17 |
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the rhyme of two |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida 
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i feel my poet breathing... sighing... needing... i feel the ache of want want for another heart a heart to hold a heart to keep... my poet longs for the rhyme of two the ever-present drumming of blissful reason... my poet breathes more shallow with each passing day... when will you come when will you find me who are you... do you stand in front of me do you shy away from me do you want me do you fear me... i can hear you breathing-- but i cannot feel your breath... my poet is lonely my soul gasps with a deadly thirst who will come-- who will find me... -dgvarner 11-26-01 ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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| © Copyright 2001 dgvarner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is very good, and I enjoyed the sensation of the poet, needing, while to me, the person is you, acknowledging the poet inside... Yep. This is a Keeper. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Dgvarner, Here there is an inside and outside meaning, enjoyed both. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
i liked this... to me, it was as if you were talking about yourself being "the poet" and also talking about another poet you long for all at the same time... if that makes sense i don't know if that's what you intended but i read it that way and it sorta created a very cool cyclical feeling definitely a lot of emotion in this ... nicely done  |
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bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
Looking, looking, looking. Opps i found the poet. And the poet is you. Bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Dg, this is wonderful wistful and yet sweet |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
Very pretty piece ever deep...runs |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
I must agree with doreen, seems to be two poets in this read. Very cool trickery here. For I am the one who is me searching for you... or some crazy double speak I read somewhere. also I noticed a little sensual side to this piece, maybe you should come over so we can talk about it.  Parker |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
SUNSHINE..yes..the poet is me thanks for reading!SEYMOUR..you got more out of it than even i entended..lol glad you enjoyed.. DOREEN..i think i understand..lol..and if i do, yes, i meant it that way..  BERNIE..are you sure? lots of poets around here...lol SEA..good to hear from you again WHISPER'S..i'm glad you enjoyed PARKER..double speak..? lol..you guys have me confused over my own poetry...  sensual in this one? nah..really? this is one of those lonely, "i need" poems..tired of needing..want the need to subside...lol bring on the man! rofl! thanks for reading.. hugs, g~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Oh gosh do the needs and desires of your heart come through well in this rhyme of two. Two have very affectively become one. Very well done. I love it. **hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
STARTIME..did you sneak in there? lol..much thanks for your reply hugs, g |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
it took me a while to come to the same interpretations as doreen did..then i was bowled by your wit and humour... the senusal poetess is turning intellectual, huh? |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Yes, this is very good. Well done. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
KAILE..been skipping along the back pages, have you? lol okok..heres the deal..."my poet" refers to ME...! MEMEME...lol... i dunno about all those other interpretations..theyre rather interesting... intellectual... me?? lol thanks for bringing me to the top again.. MIRROR MAN..glad you enjoyed! thanks so much for reading! hugs, g ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
Gale, I love this! And I understand exactly where you are coming from. Your usage of "my poet" to refer to yourself intrigues me as I often refer to my own writings as something separate from me. I almost consider my words to have a life of their own written by another "person" that lives inside of me... the person who is trying to express his fears, wants, desires, and loves... and who is also looking for that other "inspiration" to complete his own talents. Well done! - Jeff |
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sodpossom Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723N.C |
Sweet and beautiful! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Awwwwwww, such beautiful thoughts flow from your golden pen! (sigh) I know just how you feel, but I believe as long as you follow your heart always, you will find the most dazzling inspirations and love! (smiles) The beauty of the poet is in your golden heart, and every heartbeat of love is always glowing with inspiration! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Dgvarner, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
I like the displaced dimension here. To write in a third person place the needs of first person...Cool write!! |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
dg, Hi. I read this back then, just didn't comment, fickle fool that I am somedays. Easy to see how this might be read another way, but I knew who 'my poet' was. Interestingly, perhaps, if I read this as though it were me, I think of the 'who' as another poet. I wonder, did you have that in mind? Enjoyed this, I can relate. e |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
LOL@me...from my last reply i cant help thinking about that toby keith song: "wanna talk about ME, wanna talk about I, wanna talk about number one oh-my-me-my...."  JEFF..yes--that...! lol SODPOSSUM..thank you a bunch MISTLETOE..glad you enjoyed AMUSEMI..thanks for reading..glad you liked KRAW!..glad you came back to reply.. somehow, i couldve guessed that you would understand this one.. another poet? perhaps..i do so love poets...  hugs, g [This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 12-16-2001).] |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Stumbling onto this is just like getting an early Christmas present , excellent!"Let me pierce the realm of glamour |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
dg- Ok...although this is an awesome write, I have to admit that it makes me sad.  You know I understand and feel this with you. May your poet someday find another poet and together you will live happily ever after with your family of baby poets..LOL. I do love this...makes me want to come give you a great big HUG. Love and stuff,  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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