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Open Poetry #17
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~lewisone~
Member
since 2001-11-23
Posts 91
Virginia

0 posted 2001-11-25 04:31 PM


"Your Picture"
I was packing my belongings,
I was getting a new start at last,
Than I opened an old box I had,
And there was your photograph...

There was your picture,
Your picture that brought you back to me,
If only by a memory,
A reminder of how it use to be,
Your picture staring back at me....

With weeping eyes and trembling hands,
I held it to my heart,
I remembered how it use to be,
Before we were torn apart....

No matter how I look at things,
There are some facts I cannot change,
Although your body is gone from me,
I'll always have our sweet memories,
In your picture....

With weeping eyes and trembling hands,
I put your picture in the box again,
I closed the lid, as if shutting a door,
Your picture I would have forever more....

©Sharon E. Lewis July 29,1996



© Copyright 2001 Sharon E. Lewis - All Rights Reserved
misguided angel
Member
since 2001-11-23
Posts 106
Australia
1 posted 2001-11-25 04:39 PM


lewisone, this is such a tender sweet moment. You have painted the picture so well.

Andrea

Summon the courage to step out of your familiar rut and suddenly many of those things which held you back will no longer have the power to do so.

Doug Pretorius
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 81
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2001-11-25 05:03 PM


I felt quite sad reading this poem. Like longing for a lost love or friend.

As far as suggestions ... it's hard to say you should do this; or you shouldn't do that. Our writing is all so unique and special to each one of us.

All I suggest is to keep on writing and experiment as much as you can with style and content. Practice really does make perfect even with writing.

Doug

~lewisone~
Member
since 2001-11-23
Posts 91
Virginia
3 posted 2001-11-25 05:09 PM


Thank you for your replies....
Doug, I agree that each poet has a unique
style ....Thank you for the tips....
             ~lewisone~

peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
4 posted 2001-11-25 06:07 PM


Pictures do so much for us.Nice write.
Peaches

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
5 posted 2001-11-25 09:48 PM


Enjoyed this tender write very much.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2001-11-26 06:28 AM


I have many photos, that when I  move on .I wonder what one does with them all...very soft and moving  words

~Wynter

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
(J.Garland)

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
7 posted 2001-11-26 06:58 AM


This touched something in me. I have a particular photo album, that has pictures of a great love I once had. Every so often, I will pull out that album, bring back the memories, have a sad moment to myself for what could have been, then put it back on the shelf. If only the feelings of loss could be put back on the shelf as easily. What's the saying...tis better to have loved and lost.....yes, I think it is.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
8 posted 2001-11-26 07:21 AM


With weeping eyes and trembling hands,
I put your picture in the box again,
I closed the lid, as if shutting a door,
Your picture I would have forever more....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Memories can be for a lifetime, so hold on to the good and release the bad. At least thats my motto.
I like your poem very much.

Deb

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
9 posted 2001-11-26 10:50 AM


Great writing

Bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2001-11-26 10:56 AM


feeling this today   I liked this very much  
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

11 posted 2001-11-26 11:39 AM


hon, I never critique something so personal, I can't improve on this  

Kathleen
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

~lewisone~
Member
since 2001-11-23
Posts 91
Virginia
12 posted 2001-11-30 11:25 PM


Hi All! Been gone all week and just returned home and wanted to thank you each for the lovely comments on my poem....This poem is very close to my heart and I'm so happy I could endear yours. Thanks so much!  
            ~lewisone~

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