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Open Poetry #17
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Pell
Member
since 2001-09-16
Posts 134
Pacific NW

0 posted 2001-11-21 11:31 PM


The Tide

I sense the tide is changing.
Receding need tossed upon disconsolate shore,
left to glisten under a pulling moon
and to wither beneath a new sun.
I feel you letting me go...

Roiling,
recoiled am I
from the swells of your ebbing attention.

Waiting,
weighted am I
by the barnacled stones of your silence.

Choking,
swallowed am I
by the shadowed vastness of my turbidity.

I am adrift and sinking.
I cannot fathom where we are.


© Copyright 2001 Melissa Frost - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2001-11-21 11:41 PM


Excellent imagery, Pell. You've done a really great job of presenting the emotions of a relationship on the rocks. The ebb and flow of love really is as powerful as the moon's pull of the tides.
ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
2 posted 2001-11-22 12:01 PM


The Sea of Love is not always tranquil
nor battered by storm
but equally balanced by strength and will
both showing great form

And though I watch secretly from the dune
admist fallen love
I find attraction to the silent moon
rePELLing above

Great imagery and form!!
Most excellent!!

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
3 posted 2001-11-22 02:18 AM


I have felt this way. I feel this poem as I read it, and I LOVE the style in which you have written it. If this is your first poem as your critique flag indicates (unless that is an old message) you are doing wonderfully so far.  Enjoyed!  

~I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!~

Pell
Member
since 2001-09-16
Posts 134
Pacific NW
4 posted 2001-11-22 02:39 AM


Midnitesun- Blushing thanks for your kind words and encouragement.  

ctowen- Ah, so it was you, the Watcher on distant TOWERing dune, I thought I was alone.  
Thank you kindly for your lovely reply.

Temptress- ...Oops, I`ve been away for awhile, thanks for the heads-up. This is my second submission.  
I`m very pleased you enjoyed it.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-11-22 01:39 PM


Wonderfully done.  This was a very good comparison between love and the tide.  Enjoyed this a lot.  

Welcome to Passions, Pell.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
6 posted 2001-11-22 02:14 PM


It it like that, isn't it
great writing

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
7 posted 2001-11-22 03:23 PM


I think we have all been through this at some point, very well written and with great wisdom, I enjoyed thank you for sharing.

Regards,
Olias.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2001-11-22 03:56 PM



Pell, you keep writing like this and you will have an excellent following, and I will be in that line...

well done!

Pell
Member
since 2001-09-16
Posts 134
Pacific NW
9 posted 2001-11-23 04:03 PM


Lone Wolf, Mr. McCoy, OLIAS, Sunshine...
Thank you for your comments, I`m pleased and flattered.  
Unfortunately, my posts seem to be few and far between, as I`m often stirred to write only when my thoughts and feelings are too much to bear lol. Ah, well...
Here`s to hoping for the inspiration to write of happier subjects. I`m deriving great enjoyment from reading your words as well, and those of everyone here; learning more all the time  
Thanks again for your support and encouragement!

When words cannot bear the burden of thought,
it is the poet who lends them strength,
hoisting the thoughts within reach of us all.
  

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
10 posted 2001-11-25 07:55 AM


Excellent write! Every verse perfectly visual of struggling with love within a stormy sea. Made me feel ragged and tired. As this will do sometimes. Hope you castaway and become saved by the lover of your life!  

Sincerely,
Regina

It's all in the mind
Except for what's in the heart.
http://www.mygem.net/heartquill

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