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Open Poetry #17
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aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind

0 posted 2001-11-21 02:06 AM


They heard tales of brave
With dreams of glory of their death,
But when they hit the ground dust
Only to find out red red hands.
All innocence was lost;
Remained was concrete images
Which...would leave them no rest.
And down the history this was repeat.
Poor souls, victims of fiend!
When shall bloods clean all dirts
To reconcile the graves, O sorry graves!

//inspired by a poem. I don't know if it is grammerically correct for I can't correct mine, so please kindly give me a hand.

Lizzy

~The first two cup of tea is to throw away; what remains is the best of all.
~Blessed are those who find ordinary things extraordinary.

© Copyright 2001 Eliza Simmons - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2001-11-21 04:03 AM


Yes, it is so sad Vivien, and we really do have to keep asking that question WHY? Too many graves, and for what? This is a good, caring thoughtful write. Don't worry about the grammar or spelling...you are doing a great job of communicating your feelings and thoughts, and that's all that really matters in the long run.  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-11-21 10:31 AM



Aries, I find nothing wrong with this. That is what is nice about poetry - it is open to interpretation.  I applaud your efforts for I would believe English is probably your second language?

I look forward to reading more of your work!

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
3 posted 2001-11-21 12:53 PM


yes English is my second lauguage. My native lauguage is Chinese (Cantonese).

~The first two cup of tea is to throw away; what remains is the best of all.
~Blessed are those who find ordinary things extraordinary.

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