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Open Poetry #17
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wornways
Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204
CA, USA

0 posted 2001-11-20 09:52 AM


Hell

There I stood
At the edge
Of the abyss

It seemed
For all the world
Or lack thereof...
It seemed
There was nothing
Nothing at all
A fantastic lack
Of anything
It was a void
Fathomless
The emptiness
Within the emptiness...

And there I stood
At the edge
Of eternal darkness...

For long did I stand
For ages
At any time
I could have turned
And lived

But no...
At the fathomless edge of death
I stood

Was it my heart
My soul
My spirit
I thought them lost
Destroyed
Obliterated
How could I have known
These were my gifts
How could I have realized
It was these gifts
My heart, soul and spirit
That held me fast
Kept me from slipping
As at the despairing edge
I stood
How could I have guessed
These were gifts
Given me
From him
Who created all...
God

Once
I fell
From the edge...
My heart died
My soul left me
My spirit faded
The edge was gone
And I fell
Weightless
Lost
Like a mote
A speck of dust
Beyond the furthest reaches
Of all that is
Never again to know
Never to be found
Eternally absent
From life
Eternally lost
In the vacuity
Of emptiness
Alone...
Loneliness squared
By infinity...

I realized
There in the void
I existed
Independent of god's gifts
Independent of my soul
My heart
Or spirit...
Without my form
I existed
And was fully aware
And now
Conscious
Of the depthless emptiness
Perpetual loneliness
Forever conscious
Painfully aware
Of my inexistence...

I fell from the edge
The edge
From which
I could have turned
But did not
And now
There was no turning
No life
My soul
Returned to god
Without me
And "I" was lost

Then suddenly
I was back
At the edge
The dismal edge

My god
I had only slipped
One foot stepping
Beyond the edge
Into hell

I woke
And heard
God's voice
A plea
From his heart
"Turn ye
"From the edge
"I am the way
"I am the life
"Please
"Follow me
"And be saved"

And from the void
Beyond the edge
I seemed to hear
"Abandon all hope
"Ye who enter here"

And here
I looked
Finally turning
From the eternal absence
Of life
And saw
Lined along the edge
Countless minions
Such as myself
At the edge
Standing

Many
Even as I beheld them
Fell
From the edge
And were lost eternal
Not a sound
Not a scream
By the time they understood
They were lost
Forever
It was too late

I was lucky
Or blessed
For I only slipped
And it was enough
To know hell
And understand

I turned
Accepting within my heart
Jesus ben Christ
And from the edge
From the abyss
Was saved
And lived

© Copyright 2001 Erin A. Thomas - All Rights Reserved
Carol Lina
Member
since 2001-11-18
Posts 94
USA
1 posted 2001-11-20 09:54 AM


This is a fantastic piece of writing and well, I just don't have the words but want you to know I appreciate it oh so much.

Carolina

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2001-11-22 07:01 AM


This was such an emotive piece wornways. The descriptiveness and imagery used within, crafted this into an incredibly realistic and visual weave. I found my emotions flowing from desperation to inspiration. Very well written, much enjoyed the depth in this piece.  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-11-22 01:35 PM


This one is very profound.  I'm glad to see you've found salvation at the edge of the abyss.  Sometimes we need to hit bottom before we can lift ourselves up.  Great write.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2001-11-22 04:02 PM



Erin, your presentation made me feel as if I were looking down into the crevice myself...


wornways
Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204
CA, USA
5 posted 2001-11-24 12:52 PM


because of the reaction some of you have expressed, i feel inspired to follow up a bit with some of the inspiration behind this piece.

when i was 14 years old, i was hit by a car and i flatlined, so i had an NDE. the place i describe beyond the great cliff is the place where i went. i did not 'hit bottom', i died, and during my time dead, came to know what hell truly is. it is a place we only realize we were standing at the edge of being the whole time we lived... unless... unless... well, you get the picture. there is another poem i wrote that talks of hell a bit more... i called it "Saved". perhaps i'll post it.

[This message has been edited by wornways (edited 11-24-2001).]

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2001-11-24 08:08 AM


Excellent expression, Erin. Powerfully descriptive. Well written!
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