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Open Poetry #17
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The Case of the Five and Dimer Rhymer......for Larry C.
| Open Poetry #17 |
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The Case of the Five and Dimer Rhymer......for Larry C. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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Larry, this is an example of the short work I made of LongJohn and how he got that peg-leg  . . . I still recall that London fog roll down the street that night Back in the spring of '93, if my mind serves me right. Good Mr. Holmes, my trusted friend, had called me to his place. I didn't know that it would be for Sherlock's final case. "Ah, Witless!", Holmes called out to me - his customary greet As I walked in from out the chill of foggy Baker Street. "A curious case has come my way and I'm forced to depend On cunning, wits, intelligence - and you, my trusted friend." "You know, of course, of Long John. He's the butcherer of words Who writes the most pathetic rhymes the world has ever heard. There is a ransom on his head for murdering pure verse But I've been hired to find a fiend who writes poems ten times worse!" "Dear Holmes!", I finally blurted out, unable to resist, "You know that Long John tops the twenty Most Unwanted list. No man alive can write that bad and not remain in jail. Should you accept this duty, Holmes, you're surely bound to fail!" But nothing that I said - no threats - no questions that I asked Were able to convince Holmes to avoid this futile task. So, off we went, in still of night through foggy London town To find a poet worse than John and hunt that creature down. We asked the hoboes on the streets but they just simply laughed. We asked the patrons of the pubs who all replied, "You're daft!!" We checked the sewers - alleys, too.The hunt went on 'till dawn But we could not find anyone who wrote as bad as John. The opium dens we checked. We even crashed an all-night party Hosted by that evil fiend, Professor Moriarty. But all our hunts were fruitless. Sherlock ranted, raved and cursed For every fact uncovered proved that Long John was the worst. "Dear Holmes", I cried, "please let it go. This hunt cannot go on. There simply is no one alive who writes worse than Long John." But Holmes would not abandon ship. He simply walked away And legend says he hunts on still until this very day. Years later, I discovered that my friend Holmes had been right! For, in a pub across town, on that same cold London night The fiend he sought was saying,"Folks, my poetry is heaven 'Cause I'm the greatest poet born. My friends all call me Kevin......." |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Balladeer, November 19, 2001, will go down in history as the massacre of Kevin. I'm just proud to be associated with it. But alas poor Kevin. It was his youth and pride that got him, not his poetry. But that is just my theory and probably why I never worked with Holmes.  Awesome.[This message has been edited by Larry C (edited 11-19-2001).] |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
ROFLAMO!!! This is the best so far (and they've all been pretty damn good) Now Balladeer I think that you have got that Kevin licked I do believe with this round, his bright young butt got kicked Though somehow here I do believe that he shall get back up And come back here a fighting, with his pen to back him up If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? [This message has been edited by Tracey (edited 11-20-2001).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
 hehe..... love it!!!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Getting sore cheeks from laughing at these - but it is sure worth it. That was an A+ (said it out loud and you make this look so darn easy you know that right?) ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Balladeer, OUCH.. I'm sure Kevin will down for awhile with this one...*chuckles* I wouldn't hold my breath though.. he's a fighter it seems. I love this.. you had me laughing out loud  Hugs, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
and who will continue the every cheer is this the End? oh, Balladeer, I believe the Kevin will stand again for Youth, it seems, has no end... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Bal, If he persists he's a glutton of punishment. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Witless??? LAUGH!~ I missed your humor! You never cease to amuse me. Your talent shows beyond the laughs!!! Great One!!!  Sincerely, Regina |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer - Just like Regina - I missed your humor, too - and I miss it even now. Naturally, I am sure I am better than Kevin at being the worse. err... you know what I mean. I may have to get some work done and free up a slot of time for a worthy response. A limerick ought to do it - lol. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Heap big grins and chuckles Big B. - Really enjoyed this and...and down he goes (or at least is headed!). jwesley |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
here I sit with laughter roaring you guys are anything but boring I anticipate each installment now that I know what Irving Gaul meant when speaking of the inner four ring |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
You're so funny! I love your writing sweet Balladeer. You are quite charming : ) |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
'Deer dear heart Now that I've missed, wonderful writing I'm giggling out loud. I've tried three times to read it to Emma, (daughter number 2) and failed miserably. I'm giggling too much.   Love and warm stuff as always Mushy  To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Oh, Mr. Ballsdeer your writings are so funny. Thsy are much enjoyed by me. I really enjoy reading what you write. |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*giggling* so that is what happened did it? You are just too cute and sexy for words. **hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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