navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #17 » The Wall
Open Poetry #17
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Wall Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

0 posted 2001-11-19 06:01 PM


The Wall
Shadows burnt of you upon the wall,
caught in vogues vision contrived,
Sooty feathers fold about the chalk line,
from boy to man,
Wishing we could have met at four feet two,
you could have been the girl next door,
Instead plaster defaced love hearts
trace the tracks of my tears,
And what of dreams ambition, before we met,
They too are there, displayed in torn and faded Idols,
Until you, there was always second best,
for some I was that man,
But through it all the wall remains,
Paint and paper can't disguise the truth,
Memories set in stone, endure.

Olias.


© Copyright 2001 Mick Yates - All Rights Reserved
Carol Lina
Member
since 2001-11-18
Posts 94
USA
1 posted 2001-11-19 06:09 PM


yes, in stone...very close to my thoughts today.

Carolina

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
2 posted 2001-11-19 06:21 PM


*sigh* I get a sense of sadness and regret coming from these words you write so well. Will love be able to take down the wall that memories have built? I pray for you that they can and that you may move on having wiped away all traces of the tears you've shed. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

[This message has been edited by Startime (edited 11-19-2001).]

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-11-19 08:40 PM


I hope this wall is not permanent, Olias.  Very sad write.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
4 posted 2001-11-20 07:50 AM


Carol Lina,

Thanks for your kind words, and on a happier note maybe memories like foundations built on stone can weather any storm. I hope you find solice in that.

Startime,

I am very touched by your reply, this is a wall I find alot of compfort in, like an old pair of sneakers, take care.

Lone Wolf,

Thanks for reading and replying it is very much appreciated, be well.

Thank you to all,
Regards,
Olias.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-11-20 10:10 AM



I do not know why, but this gave me chills, so I shall put it in my library, to read again...

thank you!

OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
6 posted 2001-11-20 07:55 PM


Hmmm very interesting way of looking at it, and after a read I see what you mean it is quite macabre. Thanks for the reply and the point of view Sunshine.

Regards,
Olias

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2001-12-27 01:14 PM


Hmmm....not quite macabre...just dark and brooding...and? I like it that way! This one ACHED.
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
8 posted 2001-12-28 11:35 PM


You captured that feeling of faded memories so beautifully, Olias...

Shadows burnt of you upon the wall,
caught in vogues vision contrived,
Sooty feathers fold about the chalk line,
from boy to man,

I loved the edginess of this poem, its so very raw.

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2001-12-28 11:37 PM


innocence lost. . . still. . .

well done my friend. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #17 » The Wall

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary