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Open Poetry #17
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The Backstroke
| Open Poetry #17 |
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The Backstroke |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
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Puzzled face Missing pieces As the rotting Flesh diseases I felt excepted At the table Rubbing elbows With the able Then you spit me The fawning leper Into your soup Sprinkled pepper In the salt Little weevils Doing evil Hive mind buzzes: “Not my fault!” Backstroke Back broke The waiter comes And sees the broth Looking dumb He flicks the moth Into the kitchen Look they’re pitchin’ Broken flies Into the stew Look at me? Look at you! |
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| © Copyright 2001 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*giggling* I just couldn't help myself. The vision your words created had me laughing so hard my daughter wondered what was going on. LOL BRAVO!!! I love it.   Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I didn't laugh as I wondered what deeper meaning there is here..your work sometimes has a second underlying meaning that I miss. I enjoyed this though..VERY creative.  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Walt, this is quite deep. You okay? There is more to this than meets the eye my friend. Going back to read again....see if I can figure out what's happenin'! Like the style! ~hugs, Nancy~ ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent flow in this piece Walt. There is much to ponder as to the many ways this could be read ... very much enjoyed this thought-filled weave. Best wishes, /Kit |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Now I received this as a very sad piece and btw, thank you very much, I'm trying to eat my breakfast! Your descriptiveness is superb and I feel the underlying pain. Now tell me I read it all wrong! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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cruz Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282Dallas,Texas USA |
explanations are awesome but none needed here. "GR8 SCOTT! He's done it uhgain" |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
ROFL, this one struck me as funny!! All writing comes |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
I like the fact that everyone got different things from this and I'll leave it at that yuh |
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