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Open Poetry #17
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Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-11-17 06:34 PM


in an opening of life
I found a closing of the heart
balanced on a hinge of yesterday
in the frame of being

the key of my thought
seemed not to fit the tumblers
of the complex lock
failing to turn
and snapping off
into my hands

when I realized
that it was already open
I searched for another key
under the mat
I knocked
          I rang the bell

and I thought I saw
someone peering
through the peephole

that's when I stuck my foot out

--------------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

© Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
1 posted 2001-11-17 06:42 PM


Love this, the whole poem is in a certain somber mode, and the end just made me smile. Good work.
Sandra

Carol Lina
Member
since 2001-11-18
Posts 94
USA
2 posted 2001-11-18 05:01 PM


This is nice!  Made me think!

Carolina

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
3 posted 2001-11-18 05:29 PM




in an opening of life
I found a closing of the heart
balanced on a hinge of yesterday
in the frame of being

----------------------

mmm......quite interesting Sven and thought provoking.

Thank you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 11-18-2001).]

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
4 posted 2001-11-18 05:43 PM


have you been reading my diary?

i wonder why i always keep tripping myself up but you said it so much more  succinctly than i could!

geesh

love,

dor



fine write, sven  

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
5 posted 2001-11-18 06:30 PM


I agree it was quite a sombre read, then with the foot out at the end, it shows spirit, hope, effort and humour almost..
We all must stick our feet out - fight and claim what we desire....
Great write hon..

Isis

Moon Dust
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
6 posted 2001-11-18 07:54 PM


I didnt know what to make of it I mean I know the feeling and at the same time don't understand which feeling it is and cant remember when and why I would or could feel it. definately interesting and poetic tho

I breathe the dust, the dust is me.


Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2001-11-18 08:04 PM


Doors,
oh how I hate'm
always slammin in your face
OOPS...
I slammed myself again!

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
8 posted 2001-11-18 08:07 PM


*giggling* the ending sure brought a laugh to my lips. How perfectly delightful.    

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2001-11-18 08:11 PM


balanced on a hinge of yesterday
in the frame of being
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enjoyed this Sven friend!  Good write, Nancy.

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-11-18 09:36 PM


Sandra, thank you. . . that's kind of what I was going for here. . .  

Carol, if it makes you think, then I've done my job. . .

Enchanted Melody, thank you my friend. . . interesting is always good. . .  

dor, no, I haven't been reading your diary. . . but, I wonder. . .have you been reading mine??  

Isis, thanks hon. . . you know me. . .can't give up hope. . . ever. . .  

Moon Dust, exactly. . . thanks. . .

Midnitesun, I know. . . they always seem to be around don't they??  Thank you. . .

Startime, that I made you laugh is thanks enough. . .

Nancy, thank you. . . glad that you enjoyed. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2001-11-18 10:44 PM


when one closes, another opens....and no matter how we fumble, we surely will find the right key..(hopeful)..you do this to perfection sir....be well my friend....


Lauren~



[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (edited 11-18-2001).]

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

12 posted 2001-11-18 10:50 PM


heh.
this is true - sometimes the best way to grab one of life's opportunities is to stick your foot in the door.
sometimes, of course, knocking works too.
hehe i like this one Sven.
-Dave

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
13 posted 2001-11-18 10:52 PM


Sven,
this was a fine write!! I especially loved
the ending...as always you leave me deep
in thought. thank you my friend for penning
such a wonderful poem...

take care.

amy

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have"

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
14 posted 2001-11-19 11:05 PM


I've read this a couple of times, and I get a few things out of it each time. The end feeling I get from it is realization and caution. I'm still thinking about it. Enjoyed, Sven Pen.  

Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
15 posted 2002-01-06 08:31 PM


liked it
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