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Open Poetry #17
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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2001-11-16 04:03 PM


I stand upon the brink and peer out o'er uncertain void .
On one side paper, pen, and ink, on other Sigmund Freud .
The symbols I'm familiar with beat to a diff'rent drum,
as thoughts flow through me like a sieve, await the one that comes.

Not as a column thrusting phallic like into the air.
The bosum of humanity below cannot compare.
When all is said and done for this, the up-draft which I seek,
shall wrent the walls asunder tumbling down that I might speak.

As one who's heard the mimicry of others' in his words,
on winged interpretation from that cage I've slipped, a bird .


© Copyright 2001 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
1 posted 2001-11-16 04:57 PM


I tasty mental lunch to enjoy.  Three things in particular stood out for me:  1) the title and its concept/metaphor, 2) the second line was very clever, and 3) the last couplet left me reflecting.  Nice work!

-MVS

"If you don't ask:  you don't get." -Steve Miller

http://www.davidicke.com/icke/index1c.html

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-11-26 12:36 PM



Doc, this is very good.  And I enjoyed the imagery...as a passenger in a two-seater, the thrill has stayed with me all these years....

thank you...

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2001-11-26 07:43 PM


I guess I saw more than the 'flying' here..a metaphor within your words, so I'll just sit back and enjoy reading what the others saw.  
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
4 posted 2001-11-28 10:57 PM


Sunshine,
Thanks, I've flown in small craft before( helicopters & puddle jumpers) Don't care for either, give me a jumbo anyday!

PDV,
Yes you did. Thanks. This was all about finding my own voice. Shucking the "S-Q" and
really trying to see if I had anything original to offer. If you caught that, I might yet have hope . Thanks again .
Doc

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