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Open Poetry #17
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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2001-11-15 11:39 PM


I saw Charles today on the midtown bus.
He was staring out a smoked and grime stained window,
lost in who knows where.
I walked on past and sat down at the rear of the bus
gagging slightly at the smell of diesel and sweat of countless faceless riders.
I now could see the back of Charles' head,
a row or two ahead,
just like in the seventh grade,
except,
in the seventh grade, he was Chuck.
I knew the back of Chuck's head as well as his face,
throwing spit wads, whispering, passing notes.
Did you see what Mantle did yesterday?
Chuck's reply was automatic,
Yeah, but what about Mays?
We were best friends.
Then came high school.
College.
At the twelth street station, Charles stood up and walked slowly to the front of the bus, never looking back.
As the bus pulled away, I watched Charles pass slowly down the street.
Seventh grade seemed so long ago.
I rode on out to the suburbs, my car would be out of the shop tomorrow.
As I stood and walked to the front of the bus, I whispered slowly to myself, Mickey Mantle.
I passed the seat where Charles had been sitting.
Written in the window's grime,
Willie Mays.

[This message has been edited by Tim (edited 11-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tim - All Rights Reserved
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
1 posted 2001-11-15 11:49 PM


Tim
This was so very well written and enjoyed by this reader.  Take care....Sue

Suetang

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2001-11-16 09:26 AM


oh I like this, how you pull the past into today and weave it all toether with hopes and dreams is great  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-11-16 09:42 AM


'SayHey'Tim~
Oh ... this is so wonderfully written and shared~
Memories rose to the surface in a flash~

I have a dear, dear friend who played in those days ...
I will enjoy sharing it with him~
Thank you soooooooo much for this piece~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
     noles1@totcon.com                

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2001-11-16 10:19 AM



The very sad part of black and white...

is that we always miss the gray...

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-11-16 10:35 AM


Oh this was so sad, but I truly enjoyed your presentation of a story far too true.

~*~  Carpe' Diem  ~*~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2001-11-16 11:16 AM


Tim--A wonderful and story of life and the loss of childhood.  Really enjoyed reading this...thank you!
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
7 posted 2001-11-16 11:19 AM


O yuh the point is well made and the write is well writ as always!
peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
8 posted 2001-11-16 11:37 AM


I enjoyed this.
Peaches

Apachecat906
Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217
Michigan, USA
9 posted 2001-11-16 12:43 PM


This is absolutely wonderful writing.  I was on that bus with you.  And I smiled that half smile at the writing in the window, I could reread this a million times.  It's strange in a good way how things can change so much and yet remain the same.  How sadness can be so happy.  I guess it never is black or white now is it?

Thanks for sharing, this one goes to the shelves!
  

Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2001-11-16 08:32 PM


smiling....looks like I missed the first jump on your post, but not too late I hope?

You are so diverse, from sad reflections, to soft love sonnets, to humor. I enjoy your work much. Have missed you, Tim.  

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2001-11-16 08:53 PM


An interesting, beautifully sad write. The imagery is so strong, I can smell the diesel fumes, and see that window etching, and watch Charlie slowly receding from view.A very good write!
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2001-11-16 09:44 PM


It would seem the memories abound for both you and Charles even though life has turned out very differently for each of you.  Only the truest of friends can stand the test of time.  It's a brutal one, that's for sure.  Sad write, but leaves the reader wondering.  Nicely done, Tim.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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