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Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2001-11-15 08:08 PM




(This worked good for Toe so I thought I would reward Kevin with it, also...(won't count it, though, Kev   )

Once upon a midnight snoozing
After a night of heavy boozing
With Andrew Scott, my buddy, and old Long John at the bar
Suddenly, within mid-stumble, thought I heard a little mumble,
"What the world is that?", I grumbled
Standing near the kitchen door.
'Tis the breeze and nothing more.

Once again I tried to rise up,
Trying hard to get my thighs up
I heard that distant sound come somewhat louder than before.
"What the hell is happening here? Could it be Long John with a beer?
That's it! A nightcap for good cheer.
Here I opened wide the door…..
Kevin sat…..and nothing more.

"Kev!", I cried. "What brings you here
Upon the steps of Balladeer
And why the hell are you dressed in a red Christian Dior?
Oh, dear Kev, please don't look so sad. It looks like you are going mad.
Please tell me now, my useless gonad
What brings you here to my back door?"
Quoth poor Kevin…"please…..no…more"

"Why, Kevin, boy, my little cretin,
We know you've taken quite a beatin'
Since I am known to leave my victims lying on the floor
But you're the one who drew your guns and blasted me with witless puns
Now YOU'RE the one who lies undone
Impaled on my rhyming sword."
Quoth poor Kevin…"please…no…more"

"HAH! You will find no pity here!
No brainless little ditty here.
Pure poetry comes out from each and every single pore.
So hold on to your mindless chatter in your head until it splatters
And you go mad as other hatters
Who had come to win before!"
Quoth poor Kevin…."please…no…more"

And poor Kevin, never flitting,
Still is sitting, drooling, spitting,
Mumbling fragments of half-sentences and no one knows what for
For it was made so very clear to all the world by Balladeer
That no one ever need to fear
The poet Kevin was before….
Speechless here….forevermore.



© Copyright 2001 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
1 posted 2001-11-15 08:57 PM


*giggling* oh you are good.....or is that bad...whatever it is you are it. Very well done, Balladeer.    

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2001-11-15 09:09 PM


hey!! i'll be RAVEN about this one!!



i have nevermore seen writing so funny!!
and you can quoth me on that!!

*wink*


Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa
3 posted 2001-11-15 09:24 PM


Ok...so I might try to get back up after this...but not till tomorrow..haha ouch
NapalmsConstantlyConfused
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

4 posted 2001-11-15 09:54 PM


heh.
evil.
i like it.

"Quoth the David, 'Liquor store.'"

-Dave

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
5 posted 2001-11-15 10:30 PM


Worth playing on Kevin, for sure. But, ever the gentleman it doesn't count. What a guy!  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2001-11-15 11:42 PM


Balladeer,
And my warning comes to late.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

7 posted 2001-11-16 12:26 PM


You're my hero!  LMAO
What's funny to me about this whole duel thing, is that after Tracey the Evil posted that ridiculous story about Judge Judy and me and you responded with disdain...I told her, 'And when I grew up I wanted to be Balladeer, now you've ruined it'.
I sit happily in your shadow with awe and respect.  Hell, I even had a Spam sandwich for lunch while I watched from the front row.  I did, I swear, ask my dog.

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2001-11-16 12:45 PM


Hmm, makes you not want to admit when you grow up you want to be like Balladeer.  My goodness you must have been delivered when you were born in iambic pushes, and pulls, and it has just stuck with you, as I can't think of another explanation for how fast you whip these out!  Good show Michael.

~*~  Carpe' Diem  ~*~

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2001-11-16 07:25 AM


Ah Michael ... now you know I love this for your infamous witty perspective ... but truly, the verse itself is excellent in format, internal rhymes and flow.  I could hear Vincent Price ringing through my mind throughout the read. Much enjoyed!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2001-11-16 08:09 AM



What Kit said...Vincent, indeed....

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
11 posted 2001-11-16 08:25 AM


I always enjoy reading your posts. Thank you for posting this.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
12 posted 2001-11-16 12:29 PM


Ahhhh Sir Balladeer... Like any true champ of the ring, consistency with a bit of flexibility will always win the round.  You’ve merely adjusted a proven technique for dispatching your latest challenger.  Though this one may not count, I believe it’s worth a standing eight.  He’s on the ropes and bleeding.  Keep landing the blows and the pretender will soon be vanquished.  Now get in there and RIP HIS HEAD OFF!

Ohhh...sorry about that... just had a Rocky flash back.

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
13 posted 2001-11-19 10:32 PM


Ah Deer, you are the master. This duel is such fun to watch (even if I am late to the boxing ring)
And what's this??Duncan calling me Tracey the Evil??? Hah, thought I wouldn't see this while I was away huh??? Should I start posting more stories about you??? Can you say "dare"???

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

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