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Open Poetry #17
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A Candle, Spent
| Open Poetry #17 |
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A Candle, Spent |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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She said she hated candles, although she did enjoy the scent-- but watching their diminishment was much for her to handle. She said the final flickerings reminded her of HIM-- struggling to stay a-light-- flashes of a cruel God's whim. And that when the wax was finally spent it mocked her pain of light to night. So she never lights the candles but places them graveside. She added that the ashen wick reminded her of HER-- a wisp of smoke as last words spoke. Words she prays he heard. She said she was a candle, spent, in darkness of lament that even turning lamplight off reminded her of her own loss. She said it's how she feels inside since the day my father died. Note: If you'd care for some enlightenment regarding this incredible love story that belongs to my parents, visit the prose section at: /pip/Forum15/HTML/001260.html [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 11-15-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
OH, serenity, this one is heartwrenching. And I can relate to that feeling. Candles can be so relaxing, and add such wonderful fragrance to a stale smelling room. But extinguishing the flame, or watching it flicker to the end, is always a sad moment for me. Hugs to you and all your family. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
serenity, Passion only a daddy and his girl can know. Bless you and bless your daddy. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
What a terrible tradegy to have lost the one thing that gave her light. All I can say is that my prayers are with her to try to find her place now that he is gone and try to move one holding him in her heart. Lovely poem Karen. ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
O Serene One, I am a great fan of the way you write. Thanks for sharing... My regards to you, Sudhir |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
I pray she finds joy in the recollection of the light. A light supported by it's wick. All candles come to an end but lights stay on. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
but watching their diminishment was much for her to handle. She said the final flickerings reminded her of HIM-- struggling to stay a-light-- flashes of a cruel God's whim. And that when the wax was finally spent it mocked her pain of light to night. ========================================= She added that the ashen wick reminded her of HER-- a wisp of smoke as last words spoke. Words she prays he heard. She said she was a candle, spent, in darkness of lament that even turning lamplight off reminded her of her own loss. She said it's how she feels inside since the day my father died. ===================================== I wanna worship this ones rhyme divine...and internal rhyme...and suberb metaphor and subtle yet vivid imagery ... I wanna worship the intensity of the emote and tell ya how beautifully the cadence read aloud....and tell ya this is high on the list of your best ... but its hard to make a fuss about poetic structure when the emotions touch so deep. hearthugs me twin me and yes...fellow poets and lovers of the written word ... treat your self to that prose... its not a long one ... but it will leave a long lasting impression.  You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do. |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
I am so glad to see you writing through this, something that I am just now getting to, some 12 years later... Strange, to feel the tears of childhood touch the crepe of skin now beneath my fingers... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
hey to Sudhir!!!! with HUGS, hope all is well with you my friend! JM...ya make me smile so much, methinks you're coming to Venice with me one day. Love you! Thanks all, I'm in a bit of a hurry today so forgive me, but wanted to add to Lady in White? THIS "Strange, to feel the tears of childhood touch the crepe of skin now beneath my fingers..." IS BEAUTIFUL.... if you haven't used that in something, you should! Love to all..gotta dash, going to the French Quarter in a bit!  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Beautiful, and heartbreakng. You do it well. Sandra |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
the flames never die. . . you know. . . loved this one. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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Sonya New Member
since 2001-11-13
Posts 9Mesa, Arizona |
It gave me goosebumps! Love the poem! S~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Serenity--I want to say awesome, but the word doesn't fit the emotional pull of this poem..so well done!!! |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
Wow, this is really good. I liked how you wrote from a secondhand point of view...(i'm sure there is a word for that ) because it gives the love that must have been there a more mysterious and powerful feeling, because it was big enough to share with someone else, and then big enough for that person to write about. What a sad poem, but I really liked it.Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold |
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