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Open Poetry #16
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2001-11-13 12:57 PM




This morning
I looked at my hand
focusing hard
tuning out the other voices
my hand
touching your face
for the first time
taking pen
to write of sensation
believed known
until this moment
my hand
touching love
was a fool
waiting
for you

© Copyright 2001 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
1 posted 2001-11-13 12:59 PM


Duncan,
will it be "known" or "unknown" in the line "believed known"??

[This message has been edited by faterider (edited 11-13-2001).]

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2001-11-13 01:00 PM


my hand
touching love
was a fool
waiting
for you

I believe that this just sums it up, we so often feel a fool after having waited for love.......but sooner or later it does show up.  Beautiful write Duncan.

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2001-11-13 01:04 PM


  


This is really beautiful.

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale
4 posted 2001-11-13 01:49 PM


well, you have this reader all aflutter.....
so so lovely Duncan.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-11-13 02:11 PM



Perfect.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-11-13 02:13 PM


believed known
until this moment
my hand
touching love
was a fool
waiting
for you
=======================

just have to smile at the cleverness and sincerety of this one Duncan...
the intent and impact are written to concise, succinct perfection.
what a very very cool poem
well done poet sir.  

You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do.
In the sunlight, in the shadows ...
No ... I'll never stop looking for you.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
7 posted 2001-11-13 02:27 PM


Writing
while waiting
for her
your hand
was not such a fool
afterall


Simply love it Duncan, it's just beautiful

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
8 posted 2001-11-13 04:26 PM


*sigh* I wonder if I am a fool for waiting for love. This poem made me sit back and wonder...maybe I am but I cannot help but believe somewhere there may be love for me. Very well done, Duncan.  

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
9 posted 2001-11-13 05:06 PM


You can keep love eternal in poems( that's what I love about writing in a way its like creating or making love, material. I love this poem because I relate so much. Thanks.
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
10 posted 2001-11-13 05:51 PM




(big huggssssssss) Oh Duncan, I feel just the same way; I wonder if I'm always a fool to think if I will ever be loved, like I am just a sad dreamer and I'll never fall in love, or if this love is real. (sigh) My heart goes out to you, but I believe deep down the true love is just around the corner, who will happily take your hand and have this first dance with you to last eternally! (smiles) Such powerful thoughts, sweet friend, we all love you very much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
11 posted 2001-11-13 06:24 PM


So very poetically well said....Aren't we
all this at one point of our lives or
another?

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

12 posted 2001-11-13 06:25 PM


This is truly original and haunting, it's very lovely...

Kathleen
nickname "Kay"
also wrote as The Lady of Shallot
"be true to yourself"

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
13 posted 2001-11-14 04:08 PM


*sigh*, another stunning beauty from you.It made my heart skip a little with the emotion in it. I think I'm going to print it off and take it to Savannah with me. Are ya surprised to hear from me here in Tampa? I'm using my colleagues computer and just had to quick sign in to tell you how much I loved this. Til Sunday...

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
14 posted 2001-11-15 12:21 PM


simple and full of emotion
beautiful......
Thanks for sharing this with all of us

Accordionmaid
Member
since 2001-10-28
Posts 153
MA/USA
15 posted 2001-11-15 09:14 AM


a beautiful poem...
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