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Open Poetry #16
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Spinning Wheels : A Gloom Sonnet
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Spinning Wheels : A Gloom Sonnet |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Squeal away, squeal away, go away fast, Spin in smoke, spin in sound, never be last, Run away, go away, leave me in dust, Rush away, on your way, go if you must. Spinning wheels turning quickly with their fate. Turn around, and around with numbered slot, Put it down, spin around, bet all you got, Play away, give away, act like you know, Take away, gone away, watch your rent go. Spinning wheels taking quickly all their fate. Mark the time, tick in time, gone is season, All away, gone the day, lost is reason, Spin away, spin away, hurry be lost, Cast away, thrown away, what was the cost. Gloom |
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| © Copyright 2001 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I have known the first wheel, not the second. The pace in this poem makes the reader read faster and faster as though the words were written on each wheel. I gambled that I'd find a gem in your post and came out a winner. Thank you. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Hah!, two Sharons' comments would be almost the same here, I read fast and faster, and it reminded me of that nursery rhyme, "Fly away, fly away, fly away home, your house is on fire and your children are alone" - "nice for children don't you think? Dark nursery rhymes, now there's a calling  You realize you make this look so easy, and it's not! Well done.~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
you do make this look easy... very good |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
reminded me of an old song "spinning wheel....can't remember the artist. yes, Blood, sweat and tears Kathleen nickname "Kay" also wrote as The Lady of Shallot "be true to yourself" [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 11-10-2001).] |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WoW! I read it faster and faster and now all I have is that song in my head and I can't shake it !! LOL...good one, enjoyed, Nancy. ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) OH MY GOSH, THE VOICE IN THIS POEM IS SO POWERFUL AND THE CADENCE IS STRIKINGLY WONDERFUL!!! (sigh) It is as though the sorrow and agony quickens in rotation until finally you fall asleep in the exhaustion of it! (sad sigh) I hope this isn't related to a recent feeling of yours, but if it is, my heart goes out to you and prays joy will replace this pain! (sigh) BRAVO!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Life is so very much like this. Spinning wheels that we only want to stop once in a while. A great read.  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Spin it to the left Spin it to the right Again, again, spin, spin Spin, spin, right, right Spin, spin, left, left Take a breath Take a breath ***Innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnhale*** Yes, I do read here still and what treasures I find from the Professor's talent-filled quill Music, tonal clear & pure, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
always have time for you--grin... I got the image of a slot machine--or more in depth...The Wheel of Forutunata.... excellent...I like food for the brain. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This is a fast moving spinning wheel Professor. Reminded me of Lost Wages Nevada. And also grandfather clock hands. A very interesting poem you've spun here. LOL. Now that's another metaphor entirely. |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Cool write Gloom. I especially love the spinning wheels of the first two verses...in real life as well as your poem. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
you certainly had me spinning on this one...not sure whereit came from..but I could have written it in for someone else..the way I have been feeling lately. ~Wynter "For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. |
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