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Open Poetry #16
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2001-11-09 08:08 AM


I saw her standing there on the corner,
On second glance was sure I had known her,
From another time and another place,
Somehow I recognized an old friend’s face.

It wasn’t someone I would expect there,
She looked different she’d colored her hair,
Black like her fishnet stockings and short skirt,
To the passing cars she’d wiggle and flirt.

Not suburbia but the inner town,
She had apparently fallen far down,
Becoming not what I should remember
Stopping and hoping that I could help her.

She once was a good friend’s wife and lover,
Was now a cop working undercover.

Gloom


© Copyright 2001 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2001-11-09 08:17 AM


Loved that twist on the ending Gloom.  It was delightful and made a smile.  

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2001-11-09 08:20 AM


Thank you, Gentle Spirit,
Always a pleasure to make you smile,
Glad you enjoyed my humble words.

Gloom

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-11-09 08:31 AM


( chuckling) So... when you stopped were you arrested for soliciting?

Nice twist Gloom..and a reminder not to jump to conclusions about people....


I enjoyed

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
4 posted 2001-11-09 08:42 AM


Thank you, Cpat Hair,
Glad you enjoyed, No, Nothing happened,
I have long since learned not to judge a book by the cover,
Having such a worn and tattered cover myself.

Gloom

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-11-09 09:49 AM


wow...excellent.   perfect ending

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
6 posted 2001-11-09 09:52 AM


Wonderful twist.  A great example of creative writing.  Fabulous finale.

Oh, by the way,  I loved it

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
7 posted 2001-11-09 09:57 AM


Thank you, Sea
Glad you like it

Thank you, Interloper,
You are kind.

Gloom

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
8 posted 2001-11-09 10:01 AM


Very good. I like this.
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
9 posted 2001-11-09 10:04 AM


Thank you, Smart Chick,
Glad you liked it

Gloom

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
10 posted 2001-11-09 10:41 AM



Very clever!

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
11 posted 2001-11-09 11:06 AM


Yet another example of how we ought not to judge.... our eyes don't always see the whole picture...
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
12 posted 2001-11-09 01:19 PM


Thank you, Lady in White,

Thank you, Zinsser
The eyes oft deceives us
Glad you enjoyed

Gloom

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2001-11-09 01:35 PM


Enjoyed reading this...James
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
14 posted 2001-11-09 03:48 PM


Well done Gloom.
Love the ending!
Left me feeling a little sad for her...
Enjoyed, ~hugs, Nancy~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~

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