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Open Poetry #16
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2001-11-04 10:33 PM


Exhaling smoke into the wind
at last the air is safe to breathe.
Grabbing the hand of kindred spirits
if only for a time,
sweet, fulfilling, and brief.

Circles upon seasons
an overwhelming feat.
Leaves change to a golden tarnish.
Snow drifts,
freezing tears in an icy storm.
The spring holds no promises,
unbearable in the summer sun
captured brilliantly in the light.

Like stars around the moon
with one last flicker
falling from the sky.
Threading though private universes
different as they are
parallels nevertheless,
lined up to somehow meet.

Now as we proceed
into the more complex spiral
our paths will finally be our own.
Left with an undulating fear
passing thoughts are lost in time.
Sent into orbit, we'll fly alone.

Like the breath that we were lucky have
this sharing of our souls,
we soared~  
Define, outlined, and brief.



© Copyright 2001 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
1 posted 2001-11-04 10:39 PM


Complex and magically beautiful. Like the weaving created with stardust. I just love the vision this poem created in my head. BRAVO!!!!

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
2 posted 2001-11-04 11:45 PM


this was one of the most
imaginative and creative poems
ive ever had the pleasure of reading.
i just love your vocabulary in this
and how you tied it all together. i
will probably read this a few more times
because ive already read it twice and
the second time i saw things in it, that
i missed the first time. great poem!!
take care.
amy  

"I could kiss you in
the rain forever.
Turn all of your pain to pleasure
Fill up your days with
sunlight, make the
passion last every night"

wornways
Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204
CA, USA
3 posted 2001-11-05 01:01 AM


something about this i like, though what i find difficult to say. hrrm, perhaps the sense of wonder in loss rather than just the pain of it.
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

4 posted 2001-11-05 10:31 PM


~Your title,...precisely. Gathered me up in the beginning and held me through, this is wonderful writing. *Peace.
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