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Open Poetry #16
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peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA

0 posted 2001-11-04 02:11 AM



I can remember when my father used to be my hero.
And then all of a sudden he just became a zero.
I remember the way we used to laugh and play.
And he loved me in his fatherly way.
The times I could count on him were always there.
The love we shared you could not compare.
An innocent,funloving,and caring child.
That believed in love,life,and happiness all the while.
And then one day my father took away my innocence and childhood.
And tore apart everything that I understood.
No more did I laugh and play.
In my bedroom I would stay.
I feel like my soul has been torn in two.
And the majority of the time I don't know what to do.
How in the world could he take that from me?
How in the world could he be so cruel,be so mean?Could he not see the fear and terror in my eyes?
Could he not hear the countless times that I cried?
Could he not know how my little heart was breaking?
At every touch that he was making.
Could he not see to me life was not real?
Could he not see the shame that he made me feel?
My father used to be the best person I had ever known.
But the love and joy,where did it all go?
So now I struggle each and every day.
Just to try to make it through in a normal way.
My life has been so messed up over the years.
Through all of my anxieties and all of my fears.
The man that I thought was my hero.
Is now nothing but a zero.
No more will you see us side by side.
No more will you see that sparkle in my eyes.
          "FOR THIS IS MY FATHER AND I"

Peaches

© Copyright 2001 peaches73533 - All Rights Reserved
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
1 posted 2001-11-04 02:17 AM


This is so terribly sad. Fathers should be warm and protective of their daughters. I'm so sorry that wasn't the case here. Welcome to passions, hope we see more of your writings

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2001-11-04 02:23 AM


This is such a heartbreaker, Peaches. To have your innocence and faith and trust broken by your own father is the most horrible experience imaginable. Sadly, you are not alone. If this is about your own personal experience, I must say, you seem very strong right now, as this could not have been an easy thing to write about. And if it is for a friend, then you have expressed deep pain and suffering well for a voice who may not be able to express such a traumatic experience.

By the way, welcome. And there are lots of wonderful shoulders in here if you just need one to cry on, and ears and hearts ready to listen and comfort you.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2001-11-04 03:49 AM


Welcome to Passions Peaches, and know that you are not alone here and there are many that have suffered at the hands of abuse of a family member.  The road back to finding your spirit is a long and hard one but it is there, and the main road sign to keep reading is, "it was not my fault"!  This is the greatest sin - as where can a child run to when they are running from the very person they are supposed to be running to?  Keep writing, and may your heart and soul soon heal to one that realizes it was "his stuff" and not yours.  Welcome once again and I know this is hard to write but keep doing it as it is the best self therapy there is!     You did a fine job of writing out your emotions on this poem and thank you for sharing it.

~*~  Carpe' Diem  ~*~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2001-11-04 09:26 AM



Great First Post!!
Look forward to seeing more from you!
   ~Nancy Lee~

  ~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2001-11-04 09:35 AM



It takes a lot of courage to open up in poetry, as so many of us know...

Welcome to Passions.  Please check your E-mail for a special greeting...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
6 posted 2001-11-04 09:58 AM


I just wanted to say thank you to Tracey,Midnitesun,Mysteria,Enchantress,and Sunshine for your response to my poem.It means a lot to me.I have picked up my writing after letting it go since high school.It is a vital tool in my healing process and road to recovery.I have one thing to ask please be honest with me about what you think of them.That is the one thing I need in my life right now.I appreciate it and thank every one of you very much.
Peaches

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
7 posted 2001-11-04 10:04 AM


If this is about personal abuse...
I must say that you are showing great courage.

Abuse is so harmful.  Ever shameful,  causes
the greatest guilt.  Makes a child wonder
for a lifetime WHY ME?  WHAT DID I DO?

I hope you gave this to your father to read.
He needs to see your feelings.  
If he has courage,  and that may be very
difficult...but can be done...he can begin
to understand how he could hurt his
daughter...

Keep going...you are growing each day.  
this is a milestone,  a very good one.

Thank you for sharing this.

peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
8 posted 2001-11-04 10:07 AM


Thank you magnus I appreciate it very much.
Peaches

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
9 posted 2001-11-04 10:12 AM


*sigh* I cannot even begin to tell you how deeply this poem has effected me. I know the fear, pain and even shame that comes from this kind of experience. I share this with you having had the same kind of father. It had a tremedous effect on me for most of my life helping me from one horrible relationship to another until I finally went searching for the help I needed. This kind of pain will remain with you all your life but you can learn to accept the past and even put it behind you. You are already doing that by writing it out. I discovered writing when I needed it as a healing tool. My advice to you is to love yourself.......you are not to blame for what your father did to you and never will be to blame for his adult actions. Keep writing...for in you words you will find a measure of release. Know that there are many who understand and will show you the love and compassion you need. My heart truly goes out to you, dear one.

As for your writing......when I read something that makes me feel deeply then I consider it a great poem. This touched not only my heart but my soul moving me to tears as I felt each of your words. Always write from the heart for that is, to me, what makes a great writer. ***hugs***

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
10 posted 2001-11-04 10:58 AM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Peaches, this poem about broke my heart reading, my heart goes out to you dearly. (big hugggssssss) Shame on him for denying and not standing up for you, a loving and caring daughter with a lovely heart of gold. (sad sigh) I know this kind of pain ever so well too, and I feel because my dad ignored me and always expected me to be a man, I feel my childhood has passed away too. (sad sigh) I feel this pain will always be inside you, but always follow your heart, and I know that if you do, you can achieve anything and you will spread so much love to others as we all love you. (big hugggssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, my heart is with you always! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
11 posted 2001-11-04 11:57 AM


This is a very touching poem. It brought back memories of my childhood. I am so sorry, it happened to you. I went through all of my growing up years, thinking that I was bad. But after I was grown, I found out that I wasn't the one who was bad. He was. So just remember, NEITHER ARE YOU! Just keep writing, it really does help. And, take very good care of yourself. We all love you and are there for you. Welcome to passions!

P.S. This is the only time in my time, I have had a bad wish for anyone. I think they should all have to pay for the horrible memories they have given us.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2001-11-04 12:12 PM


It's always tragic when a parent takes away the innocence of their child.  My heart goes out to you.  I hope you know that you are in no way to blame for what's happened to you.  This was HIS problem and weakness, not yours.  Never forget that.  May the Lord grant you the strength you need to carry on.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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