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Open Poetry #16
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2001-11-01 04:47 PM




I need to say
I love you
to someone today

someone who won’t use it against me later
someone who will hear it as it’s said
someone who knows
I don’t need to hear it back

just to say
I love you

as a child
innocently
accepts your lap

as a man
lies his head
upon your shoulder

© Copyright 2001 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
1 posted 2001-11-01 04:52 PM


speechless, totally blubbering speechless.

~~~~~those words should never be used against anyone...they are far too precious.

Well done....

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
2 posted 2001-11-01 04:54 PM



Oh, I am sure this will be well heard....

very well heard....

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale
3 posted 2001-11-01 05:30 PM


someone who will hear it as it’s said


Duncan,


I love you......

and all the soul of your heart....

Look into the eyes of a man and
you will find the soul of the woman
who loves him...

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
4 posted 2001-11-01 05:50 PM


Duncan, say it to yourself(you'll never use it against yourself) It's so good to be loved, but hey, some people don't appreciated.
Love this one.

[This message has been edited by walker (edited 11-02-2001).]

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2001-11-01 06:58 PM


Ahhh the L word. Tis very important, and should be used sparingly. I hope one day you can find that worthy individual.  

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2001-11-01 07:24 PM


Oh I do love this. It speaks to so much of my heart.
Sandra

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
7 posted 2001-11-01 07:33 PM


Duncan,  this sweet and short little expression does so much.  You have said
well what some take volumes to attempt.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2001-11-01 08:01 PM


Duncan, Oh, this is soooo tender, and oh so touching and ...sensitive...yes, it is so nice to hear a sensitive man speak.  Enjoyed!  ~hugs, Nancy~

  ~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

LoveLetters
Junior Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 35
State of Hope
9 posted 2001-11-01 08:04 PM


This touches with fingers of sincerity. Its beautiful.

Love has many masks. I am but one of them.

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
10 posted 2001-11-01 08:13 PM


Is it me? Or is this one of the most stunning poems I’ve seen? No, it’s one of the most stunning poems I’ve seen. It certainly left me lost for words, and it is, beyond doubt, my newest favourite by you.
Someone can hear the words I love you
And hear them exactly as you meant them too
Just whisper the words as you lean on her shoulder
Then take her in your arms and gently just hold her

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
11 posted 2001-11-01 08:26 PM


no, Tracey, it's not just you, it is stunning. I had to come back and read it again. Left me with such a wonderful feeling. Your someone is very blessed!

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
12 posted 2001-11-01 09:27 PM


*sigh* I agree with what everyone else is saying. This poem is stunning in its simplicity. I love it. I am sure you are very much loved and I can see by the responses here that indeed you are loved.  *KOTC*

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2001-11-01 09:30 PM


I am SO smiling here Duncan----I just got back and hadn't checked out the forum, and the synchronicity? well, even if unintentional, it sparked my heart, I thank you.  
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
14 posted 2001-11-01 10:02 PM



And when you said I love you
It reached a thousand ears
Thousand hearts are ticking
Thousand eyes filled with tears

Three simple words I love you
You needed just to say
I heard them sweet dear Duncan
And I'll return them if I may

Thank you for this beautiful verse

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
15 posted 2001-11-02 10:40 PM


Duncan,
Excellent write! Important thoughts.

Sin isn't fair, but God got even, grace isn't fair either.  larry c

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
16 posted 2001-11-02 10:47 PM


This reminded me of some song lyrics,
"Lay your head upon my shoulders,
Hold your warm and tender body next to mine"

Isn't it nice to know there are so many great shoulders here at this site? You won't run out of shoulders in this century, although I'm sure there's one pair in particular that you had in mind.

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
17 posted 2001-11-03 12:07 PM


I'm sure your wait will not be a long one, Duncan...

Touching write...

*smiles*

~Tier

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