navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » For DawnG . . . Challenge response #12 . . . Seven veils
Open Poetry #16
Post A Reply Post New Topic For DawnG . . . Challenge response #12 . . . Seven veils Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

0 posted 2001-11-01 12:59 PM




how can I describe
Dawn’s moderator-like thoughts
she is observant
~*~
but there is a twist
how she likes to be observed
using seven veils
~*~
her promising kiss
leaves me sitting on bed’s edge
watching the veils fall
~*~
one by one they fall
taking an eternity
but mouth-watering
~*~
late into the night
and into the early morn
she danced and teased
~*~
finally she’s done
now its my turn to undress
playfully she helps
~*~
she lays my head down
and the next thing that I knew
the alarm went off

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

© Copyright 2001 The Tall Texan aka Doctor Love - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2001-11-01 01:00 PM


I am enjoying these!  This is great.  

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
2 posted 2001-11-01 01:23 PM


Love it, great ending.
A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale
3 posted 2001-11-01 01:47 PM


my, my, you really had me going there for a minute.

great write.

Look into the eyes of a man and
you will find the soul of the woman
who loves him...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2001-11-01 01:47 PM


Well lucky Dawn got him away from the ants and lions and thorns!!  Ohhh, dance of the seven veils....interesting.  Carry on....
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
5 posted 2001-11-01 02:21 PM


Hey!!! Some one kill the alarm would ya. *giggling* better luck next time, Interloper.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2001-11-01 02:23 PM


What a great one! I'm wondering, is she getting those veils all lined up for this dance? Throw the alarm away and let the music play?
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
7 posted 2001-11-01 02:41 PM


Interloper - the alarm went off? Does that mean the fire alarm or the alarm clock alarm? You were sooooo hot.....or your time was up? My, my, my. What a dilema. Chris  

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
8 posted 2001-11-01 03:10 PM



Perhaps Dawn danced the Seven Veils...and lulled you in to another time...

well done!

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
9 posted 2001-11-01 04:19 PM


LOL! You sure had me going. Better luck next time, interloper.
The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
10 posted 2001-11-01 04:34 PM




I know, he's saving all the sequels for adult right?    

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
11 posted 2001-11-02 01:11 AM


LOL Interloper,

Oh I loved this poem written especially for me. Actually though the alarm that went off was my 20 year old cat's pacemaker. Seems he was watching us (naughty cat) and it got his heart beating a tad too fast.

Seriously though, I truly loved this poem and I'll be back with the seven veils when I'm more fully awake with a proper response.

                                  Dawn

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
12 posted 2001-11-02 02:04 AM


Darn those alarm clocks!


Better luck next time!  ...although I highly doubt it by your track record!  

Hugs,
~Krista

Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself.  
Thank you for having the courage to share yourself so that I can too

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » For DawnG . . . Challenge response #12 . . . Seven veils

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary