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Open Poetry #16
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Unclaimed Passage
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Unclaimed Passage |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533
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Where goes the unspent passion of our souls? once dreamt now spirits lost in soundless space, though gone did heartbeat's time extract a toll, though sightless wistful hope yet leaves it's trace. Was I a fool believing words exchanged? I know I heard them, they were not assumed, without reason intimacies estranged now sealed and shuttered locked in silent tomb. In view some palm trees front clear azure sky, sunlight mocks deep well'd mood indigo, from wind and cloudless day secreted sigh is stifled by lost Juliet's Romeo. To think Love's candle so long kept it's flame whose softened core of wick stood straight with grace, burned with ardor waiting our Love's claim, extinguished having never seen your face. Appearances I mask erect and proud, humouresque rigolleto's comedy, a sadder man inside downcast and bowed your graduate in pain's masters degree. There rides an empty space inside my coach where this time old friend guilt's not earned a seat, passion's passage another I'll approach, a heart and Love like this knows not defeat. "Happy people have no history" - French Proverb |
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| © Copyright 2001 Richard S. Wells jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Well, then a small critique, if you do not mind. The beginning of this piece had a wonderful "old world" feel to it, then I felt as it abruptly changed pace. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but I feel as if you were disturbed in the center of the writing, then came back to it but didn't quite go back to your original thoughts in the finish. I am probably off with this, but it is how it struck me. Still...I enjoyed the read. I have enjoyed all that you have posted to date...thank you! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Was I a fool believing words exchanged? I know I heard them, they were not assumed, without reason intimacies estranged now sealed and shuttered locked in silent tomb. This verse is felt down into my very soul... with its painful familiarity has been mainly voiced with tears... I like your version MUCH better! *G* There rides an empty space inside my coach where this time old friend guilt's not earned a seat, passion's passage another I'll approach, a heart and Love like this knows not defeat. I love the promise of this last verse... This is very well done!!! Applause! |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Perhaps because I'm at work and made the mistake of looking out the window. Such a pretty day even in the throes of misery is a difficult diversion. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Where goes the unspent passion of our souls? once dreamt now spirits lost in soundless space, though gone did heartbeat's time extract a toll, though sightless wistful hope yet leaves it's trace. Was I a fool believing words exchanged? I know I heard them, they were not assumed, without reason intimacies estranged now sealed and shuttered locked in silent tomb. ================================= To think Love's candle so long kept it's flame whose softened core of wick stood straight with grace, burned with ardor waiting our Love's claim, extinguished having never seen your face. ====================================== There rides an empty space inside my coach where this time old friend guilt's not earned a seat, passion's passage another I'll approach, a heart and Love like this knows not defeat ====================================== I do so love when you rhyme divine Poet Richard... this is a bittersweet beauty... love the language, the vocab and the aching emote. beautiful poetic phrasing and imagery as well. more wonderful work from your gifted pen. This distance has shown how the road remains alone |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
RS--I found this wonderful...your words, both intelligent and emotion filled..and somehow (through poetic skill, I think) you mixed the two into very well written. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
So sorry you are feeling like this, it especially touches me cause I am in the middle of the "throes of misery" also. You did a superb poem here, and thank you for showing a man having emotions about a broken relationship. Sometimes I worry about that. Take care. Sandra |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
You have gone and done it again....you almost confused me....But I figured most of it out. Sorry that the day has not gone well, also sorry about the love difficulties. By the way....I must say sir, this is very well said and so articulate of you. |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
So as your mind helps unwind the pain within your heart will you put the face of fun in words that want to burn from hurt. *sigh* A face not touched but loved from words that flowed into a heart still trapped in times of old, where love was won and put above the world, to not be touched or dirtied by the earth. *gosh* this poem has to be kept by me. There is something in these words that pulls me back in time when hearts were still given with pure intent. BRAVO!!! This star loves the way your words shine and draw out of me something that is strange and beautiful at the same time. I think you have inspired me Sir and now I have to play with words though they will not measure close to those that flow from you.  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well yanno - I have to agree with Lady in White, as at first I thought it was a period piece, but then your knowledge extends through every darn single period, it has to be hard to contain your thoughts into one. Who has not felt the words of love exchanged, and without question the intimacy withdrawn? I loved the hope in this piece of palm trees (always a sign to me of serenity and peace). I am rambling now, but that is what your poetry does - it makes one dig down and think. Thanks Richard. ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is the most beautiful poetry I've read in a long, long time.....it's inspiring.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A woman weeping, masqueraded knows she heard the words exchanged. Yet, in her carriage, once elated now her hope is rearranged. Her poetry, in soft allure as water on a rose each drop an ache, each one was pure they spent forbidden prose. Oh, love, sweet love, she loved him so til dreams were burned to ash and now, alone, she'll never know if words were life or epitaph Kathleen nickname "Kay" "Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently." [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 10-27-2001).] |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Richard, THIS...is...POETRY!! At its finest! ~Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Isn't this the best you've read in ages! I'm glad I found it! Kathleen |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Another thought-provoking write. But those unspent passions...they seem to be bottled up inside some days, waiting to burst forth. I'll probably just scare the hell out of someone when they all come flying out at once. [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (edited 10-27-2001).] |
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LoveLetters Junior Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 35State of Hope |
There is great beauty and a strong power in the presence of your words, sir. I do love this. Love has many masks. I am but one of them. |
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Robert A Member
since 2001-10-29
Posts 174 |
now this is the kind of stuff I wish I could write |
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