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Open Poetry #16
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-10-25 09:28 AM


they shone brightly
the sprinkling star dusts
trailing behind the falling comet into
the canopy full of twinklers

almost as much as your eyes did
when they threw sparkles
reflecting the candle lights
during the nights of our love

then with the passing of time,
the trail of lights dimmed
into the darkness of the night

almost the same as the way
you took your eyes
and looked away

I saw the fading light
I still see our faded love
and the walked paths of yesterdays

one year?

© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-10-25 10:12 AM


they shone brightly
the sprinkling star dusts
trailing behind the falling comet into
the canopy full of twinklers

almost as much as your eyes did
when they threw sparkles
reflecting the candle lights
during the nights of our love

then with the passing of time,
the trail of lights dimmed
into the darkness of the night
====================================

Sud...this is so beautiful....
so bittersweetly sad..but so lovely in its intend...wonderful employ of ethereal imagery
we must revisit to move forward...
for with every write of memories ... in the release of the words...comes more healing.
well done dear poet sir.
heart-hugs to you
jm

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2001-10-25 10:33 AM


Hi Sudhir:

How well you compare the sky and love..the road, bright and dim, does indeed seem similar.  Best regards to you, my friend.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2001-10-25 10:38 AM


Sudhir,
A lovely write my friend.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2001-10-25 02:10 PM


I like the way you used the fading stars and candlelight imagery to allow the emotions of fading love to flicker through your poem.
DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
5 posted 2001-10-25 09:32 PM


Sudhir,

I can relate to this one very well.

                                   Dawn

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2001-10-26 08:18 AM


Many thanks to all of you...

and many regards, as well,
Sudhir

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