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Open Poetry #16
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-10-22 07:58 AM


With renewed hopes, blows the fresh morning air,
Wearing a wish, eager to brush her hair.

Upon the porch, the rooster stands tall and proud,
Prodding the sun to dance down through the clouds.

A light spray of gold reflects off her face
And the glow causes her brown hair to glaze.

In her slumber, she shuffles for a while
To slowly arise, with a joyful smile.

Like an innocent lamb, she meanders
To the dew pond of her wish, to wonder.

There she stares in the mirror for a face
Of the one who smiled and her dreams who graced.

-----

This seems to be a possible continuation of "She Waits" /pip/Forum51/HTML/000761.html  or maybe this should have been before... What's your call?

Thanks once again.

My regards,
Sudhir



"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 10-22-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-10-22 08:11 AM


With renewed hopes, blows the fresh morning air,
Wearing a wish, eager to brush her hair.
================================

I think your right the first time...
this is the contiuation of the first poems intend....
love the imagery and soft dreamy emotions of this Sud...do we have the makings of a continuing series here?
and HEY YOU ... good to see your name here  

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2001-10-22 08:18 AM


Very fluid and tender Sudhir ... beautiful imagery my friend.  I agree with JM on the continuation ... this flows from one to the other in sentiment, very nicely written!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

jonmcm
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 222
England
3 posted 2001-10-22 08:37 AM


I am not sure, I think they could both be developed a little to create two seperate poems on a similar subject.

I thought they both were lovely to read, and full of very nice dreamy images!

I love the link: -

'To the dew pond of her wish, to wonder.

There she stares in the mirror for a face'


Cheers
Jon  

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
4 posted 2001-10-22 09:31 AM


This is good. I like it.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2001-10-22 09:36 AM


Sudhir,
A lovely, lovely. I enjoyed the read my friend.

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
6 posted 2001-10-22 09:38 AM



I think we are all in agreement then, and a series it shall be...correct, Sir?  So good to see you again!

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
7 posted 2001-10-22 12:22 PM


I thank you all, my dear friends...

If it is a series, it will indeed be brought to life...

Your support has been immense. I had almost given up writing, but for your kindness and inspiration...

Regards to all,
Sudhir

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2001-10-22 03:09 PM


Couldn't resist coming back for a read ... it's so nice to see you here again, Sudhir ... and if you ever try to give up writing, I'll personally fly over there and hand you a pen!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 10-22-2001).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2001-10-22 04:08 PM


Soft and silky Sudhir...James
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2001-10-22 04:15 PM


Sudhir~Lovely images here...and a romantic piece as well.  Enjoyed.  ~Nancy~
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
11 posted 2001-10-22 08:33 PM


I haven't seen you around in forever it seems. Nice to see you posting such beautiful poetry again!  

<*\\\><    
Life may have influenced who we R, but we're responsible for what we become.
I don't question YOUR existance- GOD

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
12 posted 2001-10-23 08:08 AM


Thanks so very much, my friends... and Kit LOL@you ...  

Regards to all,
sudhir

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2001-10-24 10:14 AM


This is so tender and beautiful... I like the peace it brings my day. *S* Well done!!!

And if Kit needs any pens, I'll be glad to raid my stash... anything to keep you writing! *G*

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
14 posted 2001-10-24 01:09 PM


Thank you very much, suthern...

regards,
sudhir

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