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Open Poetry #16
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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2001-10-21 08:45 PM



She flung open the grande balcony windows
the balmy night semingly added to her despair
tears fell softly down upon ivory cheeks
she no longer his love, his lady fair.

Sounds of hoof beats filled the air
on mounted stead he galloped away
pain flowed in flooding her soul
her heart cried, begging him to stay.

In reflection she looked over yon garden
where so oft' they walked hand in hand
it's beauty she could no longer see
this seeming to be a final reprimand.

The silvery moon slid behind the clouds
the eve no longer illuminated by Lunas light
she sat down at the mahogany writing desk
but it was futile, for she could not write.

With delicate hand she turned back the quilt
of her favorite antique victorian bed
and she fluffed the lace trimmed pillows
then laid down to rest her weary head.

Her heart would not grant her the peace
praying dreams to come before the morrow
alas though, sleep was not meant to be
in this night full of loves sweet sorrow.

10-20-01


On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)


[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (edited 10-22-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2001-10-21 08:53 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Such a heartaching but beautiful poem of lost love! (sad sigh) This poem made me cry both because of how he misses her love, but also of happiness to feel the love in his loving heart and how his sweet memories remain! (sigh) Such a soft, bittersweet verse, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Donna, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2001-10-21 08:55 PM


Great writing! Very well done!
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
3 posted 2001-10-21 09:30 PM


This is beautifully sad. Haunting. So well written

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
4 posted 2001-10-22 01:01 AM


hauntingly beautiful.....reads almost like a dream.....   lovely from you my friend...be well and hugssss.....  


Lauren


I keep my ideals,
because in spite of everything,
I still believe that
people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank
09*12*01

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (edited 10-22-2001).]

Red-uni
Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 192
Georgia, USA
5 posted 2001-10-22 01:40 AM


Fantastic read, I loved it.
Red  

sigheyes
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 323
the winds of destiny
6 posted 2001-10-23 08:14 AM


In reflection she looked over yon garden
where so oft' they walked hand in hand
it's beauty she could no longer see
this seeming to be a final reprimand


This verse intrigues me.  I enjoyed
the entire poem, detailed with vivid
imagery.  Excellent writing Donna

[This message has been edited by sigheyes (edited 10-23-2001).]

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
7 posted 2001-10-23 09:55 AM


Filled with the emotions of loss this poem brought tears to my eyes. Such sadness fills each verse that you have penned so well. You set the stage by giving us a view of every detail including the pain that tore at her heart.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2001-10-23 10:12 AM


Gentle,
A very pretty write and I enjoyed the read.

texasrose
Member
since 2001-10-24
Posts 146

9 posted 2001-10-24 08:32 AM


Written with a real southern touch to it.
I can see grand Georgia mansion and so many other views in this.  Enjoyed.  

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2001-10-24 11:03 AM


Noah, as always I thank you.    

Denise- Thanks!

Tracey, sorrowfull love is all to
often haunting.  Thanks.

As if a dream born of my own
imagination dear Lauren.  Peace
my friend.

Red, thank you glad you enjoyed.

SE a fine compliment, thanks.

Star, it is and honor that you could
see my words in image.    

Sey, glad you  enjoyed.  Thank you.

Rose, I saw many things as I was writing
it just didn't seem to get on paper fast
enough.  Thank you and welcome to passions.


hugs and peace
donna

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (edited 10-24-2001).]

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
11 posted 2001-10-24 11:15 AM


Lovely write.

Hugs,
Deb

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

12 posted 2001-10-24 01:30 PM


Deb thank you for the lovely words.  *s*

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2001-10-24 03:52 PM


Simply beautiful...one of my favorites...James
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
14 posted 2001-10-24 03:57 PM


Nice
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
15 posted 2001-10-24 05:34 PM


enjoy
walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
16 posted 2001-10-24 05:50 PM


....in a night full of love's sweet sorrow. Love this one.
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
17 posted 2001-10-24 07:42 PM


Extremely well written, GS...great rhymes...and the story, quite a haunting one, indeed...great poem!

sp  

And did you know with the rain in your pockets,
you can change the weather...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

18 posted 2001-10-24 08:52 PM


James, I am pleased that you liked it!

Walt, THANKS  

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

19 posted 2001-10-24 09:00 PM


Vandana, thanks much!

Walker, glad that you enjoyed hon.  

SP, I don't know if I intended it to be haunting,
but after thought, yes lost love sure can be
a haunting thing.  Glad you stopped by.

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
20 posted 2001-10-24 10:11 PM


Applause!!!! Oh my...this is so willowy and somewhere in time. Perfectly put together as antique lace. You must go on with this! Too pretty to lay there. An inpiration indeed...and I hope for more. Hugs! Somy~

Sincerely,
Regina

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

21 posted 2001-10-25 08:30 AM


REGINA!!  You have just given me a wonderful inspire, I do hope I can do you proud.  Oh........the wheels are turning!!  Thank you SOMH!!

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

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